Of Losing And Finding Love
by MyTwiDreams
Summary: First Place Winner in the SLASH WRITER'S WORKSHOP ANONYMOUS PLOT BUNNY PROMPT COMPETITION - Summary; After his mother's death Edward discovers what Elizabeth has kept from him his entire life. He's not an only child like he thought, but an identical twin./slash/AH-Complete
1. Chapter 1

This was my entry for the SLASH WRITER'S WORKSHOP ANONYMOUS PLOT BUNNY PROMPT COMPETITION. – I can't believe I won. I've never won anything in my entire life. I feel so special and honored now.

Thanks to _**harrytwifan**_ for being my beta. I appreciate your help a lot.

**Of Losing & Finding Love**

The clock hand on the kitchen wall moves forward. It's finally midnight. I look over to the phone, waiting for it to start ringing. Mom promised to call me during her nightshift at the hospital. I walk over to the fridge and pull out the milk to drink the remainder in the bottle.

_Use a glass, Edward_. Mom's voice echoes in my ears. During the last months we have been constantly arguing with each other. Mom is too clingy. She doesn't want me to grow up because the thought of being alone is frightening for her. Are all mothers like that or just mine? For as long as I can remember, it has always been just the two of us. Maybe I should try to help her find a boyfriend. It would distract her a bit.

My stomach rumbles, and I decide to make myself a cheese sandwich. After eating half of it, I place the rest on a plate and wrap some foil on top.

_In case, you're hungry. PS: We need milk. Love, E_

Taking a last look at the phone, I decide to call it a night and go to bed. Mom is probably too busy to call during her stupid nightshift. When I come home from school tomorrow, she'll have to leave soon.

My bed is comfy but cold. I bury my face against the pillow, inhaling the faint scent of softener. It doesn't take me long to fall asleep. Then I hear the phone ringing downstairs and jump up.

"Hey, Mom," I slur into the receiver. "You woke me up. It's fucking three a.m."

"Edward? Sweetie, this is Siobhan Connor. I work with your mother."

She sniffs, and when she speaks up again her voice is tear-filled.

"Can you sit down for me, sweetie?"

"Is something wrong?" I ask, suddenly feeling much more awake than just moments ago

"Sweetie, please, just sit down, okay? There was an accident."

The following hour passes around me while I feel like some kind of passive bystander. I get dressed and call a taxi to get to the hospital, where I'm greeted by a crying brunette who introduces herself as Siobhan.

I tell her there has to be a mistake. Mom shouldn't even have been out there during the time the accident happened. She's supposed to be still at work.

"Oh sweetie," Siobhan sobs. "She…she…left earlier today. She wanted to surprise you because it's your birthday." She pulls out a tissue and wipes her nose. "I'm sorry. This is not how I usually am. I have to tell people stuff like this all the time. Elizabeth and I, we've worked together for over ten years. She was such a dear person."

"She was?" I croak. "Is she dead? She can't be dead!"

"Sweetie, come with me. Dr. Gerandy is going to explain everything to you."

"Explain what to me?" I ask, following her into a small cube-shaped office at the end of the corridor.

"Dr. Gerandy, this is Edward, Elizabeth's son."

"Hello, Edward." The grey-haired man greets me in a nasal voice. "Please, take a seat, boy. Elizabeth was in an accident. Lightning hit a tree and it crashed on her car."

I nod my head. Buying this car was my idea, because I wanted to have a decent ride when I eventually got my license. Mom hates it. She had trouble with the shifting and had been complaining that the insurance-rates were too high anyway. Those insurance-rates and a bunch of other never-ending bills were the reason why she'd started working night shifts again. Being a single parent is difficult.

"Edward, did you hear what I just told you? Your mother is dead. When the ambulance arrived at the accident location, they couldn't do anything for her."

Dr. Gerandy makes me swallow a plastic cup filled with some bitter tasting water. There must be some kind of tranquilizer in it, because seconds later, a strange numbness spreads through me.

He takes my hand and pulls me towards the elevator, pressing the button for the basement floor. Pathology, it reads in thick black letters on a white background next to the door.

I don't even manage to make it inside the morgue. My stomach revolts, and my entire body quivers until something sharp pinches the skin on my arm and I tumble into darkness.

xxxx

A couple of hours later, I wake up again in a hospital bed. There is a nurse sitting next to my bed. She hands me a cup of orange juice and murmurs something about everything being okay again. Bull shit! I'm sixteen and completely alone in the world. How in heaven's name is anything ever going to be okay again?

Someone knocks on the door, and I spill a bit of the juice on my sheets when two police officers walk in.

"Hello, Mr. Masen," the female of them greets me. "I'm Officer Weber. This is Officer Cheney. We're sorry about your loss. Did you manage to sleep a bit?"

"Ye-s," I stutter, sitting up a bit straighter in the bed. "Are you here because of my mother?"

The man pulls a plastic chair from the corner and sits down on it. "Child Services contacted us to find out if you have any living relatives."

"There is no one," I tell them, feeling an unpleasant tightening around my heart. Alone, I think; I'm truly alone now.

"Well…," the man starts, pulling out a notebook. "Does the name Anthony Cullen ring any bells for you?"

"Anthony Cullen? That was my English grandfather. He died when I was like five or something."

"Died? Well, let me check this information again. Anthony Cullen, born June 20th …oh maybe this is a mistake. June 20th is your birthdate, isn't it?"

He flips through the pages and reads out loud. "We've managed to find your father though. His name is Carlisle Cullen."

xxxx

My mother never liked talking much about my father. They met when she was in nursing school. Both of them were young and fell head over heels in love. The reality of handling a screaming infant pretty much killed the romantic atmosphere quite soon. After the divorce, Carlisle moved back to England and we never heard from him again. I didn't even know he was living in the States now.

"Hello, Edward," he greets me in a calm voice when he enters my hospital room. "You know who I am, right? It has been a while."

He takes the chart on my nightstand and reads through it. "Valium? I need to talk this through with your doctor."

"Why are you here?" I ask him, trying to turn over to the side, which is difficult because there is some kind of tube in my hand. Can I just rip that out? No, that's going to make it bleed and I can't stomach the sight of my own blood.

"The police called me. I'm very sorry about your mother."

"She's dead," I whisper. The moment the words leave my mouth, I start to tremble, despite the tranquilizers.

"Cry if you feel like it. That's okay," he tells me, placing his hand carefully on mine. His fingers are cold and I flinch, especially after the next sentence he speaks. "We need to arrange the funeral."

"No!"

"Edward, I know this is difficult for you. I'm sorry. If there is anything I can do, just tell me."

"Why are you here? You haven't given a shit about me for most of my life. So, why did you come here now?"

"I'm here because the situation has changed."

Situation? Mom being dead is a fucking situation to him?

"Can you look at me, Edward? I'm sorry this happened to you. Elizabeth was a wonderful woman, no matter how things between she and I turned out."

His cells starts beeping, and he apologizes to me before answering it.

"Hello, darling. Yes, I had a good flight, Esme. I'm with him now. Can we talk later? What? Yes, he does look like Anthony. You can see for yourself when we come back to Seattle. No, don't paint the guest room. Look, I'll call you later from the hotel. I love you. Bye."

He clears his throat. "That was my wife. Esme is looking forward to meeting you. Seattle is nice. You're going to like it there."

"I don't want to move."

"I'm afraid that's inevitable, son," he says, squeezing my hand. "You can't stay here in Chicago all by yourself. You're going to live with me and Esme…oh, and your brother, of course."

xxxx

It's like looking into a mirror; a strange miracle mirror that has a life of its own. My brother grins at me and runs his fingers casually through his coppery hair that looks exactly like mine. It's a bit less tousled than my own because he has put some gel in it.

Carlisle has tried to explain everything to me. How he and Mom had been fighting over his decision to return to England, and how neither of them wanted to give full custody of both of us to the other. The court finally decided to give me to Mom and Anthony to Dad. How do judges come up with these kind of bullshit decisions?

"Hi, I'm Anthony. It's nice to meet you…brother." He clears his throat and tells me how sorry he is about Mom's death. He's sorry for me, not him. I realize he feels about our mother pretty much the same way I feel about dad. There is some inner distance both of us have developed towards the parent who didn't raise us.

I remember the strange dreams I used to have as a little boy. Me, sitting in front of a mirror, touching my face through the glass over and over again, talking to my mirror image. There never was a mirror. The little boy in the mirror was my twin.

My mouth is dry, and I'm grateful for the glass of lemonade my stepmother hands me. She's pretty; a dainty red-head with a kind dimple-showing smile.

"You must be tired from the flight. Are you hungry? We can eat in a few minutes and then you can lie down a bit."

"Yes, that would be good," I tell her. I'm determined not to like Dad's new wife. It seems like betraying Mom and I can't do that.

"Anthony, why don't you show your brother the guest room while I finish cooking?"

"Sure, Mom," he says, and I cringe a bit at the word Mom. There is no way I'm ever going to call her that. But for him it's different. She and Carlisle have been married for almost nine years now.

The guestroom smells like fresh paint, even with the window open.

"I hope you like green," Anthony says, lifting one of my suitcases on to the bed. "Mom thinks green has a positive effect on people's mood or some esoteric crap like that."

"Green is okay," I say, opening the suitcase to start unpacking. I didn't bring much more than clothes here. I'm going to miss my piano. Maybe I should ask Dad to have it shipped here.

"It's weird having a brother," Anthony states. "Especially one that looks like my clone."

My lips twitch. I don't want to smile, but it's difficult not to smile back when he grins at me like that.

"Dad told me, I'm older than you. That makes you the clone and me the original version."

He tugs on his hair and sits down next to me on the bed. "I can help you to unpack. Wow, that's a great shirt. Can I borrow it some time?" he asks, holding up a blue button-down shirt. The color blue looks good on me. Mom always said it brings out the green in my eyes. The eyes my twin and I inherited from her. _God, Mom, I miss you so much_.

"Can I have it?"

"What? Oh the shirt. Yes, why not. I think I have two of them."

An idea forms in my head, and when we walk down the stairs ten minutes later, both of us are dressed in jeans and the light blue shirt. My hair is combed back like his with the help of a big amount of hair gel.

"Anthony, can you…?" Esme asks, stopping midsentence. "Wow, that's shocking. Who is who of you?"

Both of us grin. The left side of my mouth rises up in exactly the same way his right one mimics the movement. This is fun.

We sit down at the table, and I learn my new twin brother is a vegan. They mostly eat tofu and vegetables around here. I don't mind veggies, but tofu tastes like cardboard to me. Still, I nibble politely on a small piece Esme puts on my plate.

"I've already registered you for school, Edward," Dad informs me. "Your school uniform is not ready yet, but I'm sure you can wear one of Anthony's."

"School uniform?"

"You'll be attending a private school together with your brother. St. Volterra is an excellent place."

A private school? Damn, Dad is a rich fucker. I don't understand why Mom never accepted any money he was willing to give to her.

xxxx

In the morning, we eat some breakfast consisting of cereal with soy milk. It tastes awful. Hopefully the food in the school cafeteria is better.

"We'll be riding to school with my friend Jazz," Anthony says, putting the empty bowls into the dishwasher. "He should be here any minute, if he didn't sleep in again, that is."

A loud honk from outside lets us know his friend isn't late this morning. We walk outside, and I feel heat spreading in my face when I see the tall, lean figure leaning against the hood of his Mustang.

"You're here on time. I need to mark it in my calendar," Anthony says. "Jasper, this is Edward."

"Wow, he really looks like you, just without all the hair gel," the honey-blond guy states, pulling the back door of the car open. "I told you it looks better when it's all natural."

"Tanya likes the way I'm wearing my hair."

"Tanya thinks tofu tastes better than bacon. I wouldn't give too much on her opinion."

"You're just jealous."

"Of Tanya? Dream on, Cullen."

My heart skips a beat when he holds out his hand to shake mine. "Hi, I'm Jasper. It's nice to meet Anthony's twin."

"Hi," I whisper, my throat suddenly so dry I can barely manage to bring out a verbal response. He's about a head taller than me. and I can clearly see the muscles of his biceps stretching underneath the crisp white shirt of the school uniform.

_Stop checking him out right now._

During the ride to school, I'm very quiet. I've always known that I tended more towards my own sex. Still, it makes me feel uncomfortable that it's my brother's friend of all people who catches my interest.

"Welcome to hell," Jasper says when he kills the engine in the school parking lot. "This school sucks badly."

I shrug my shoulders and follow him and Anthony to the main entrance, where a strawberry-haired girl surrounded by a wave of vanilla perfume jumps into Anthony's arms.

"Honey, I missed you."

They kiss, and I look away when his tongue glides between her pink-tinted lips. Girls do nothing for me. They really don't.

"Just ignore them. I do," Jasper says. "What's your first class?"

I pull out the sheet of paper Dad handed me last night. "Biology One."

"Great, we can go there together. Cullen, the nerd, is in the advanced course."

Someone slaps me hard against my shoulder and I turn around.

"I want my money back, Cullen."

"Piss off, Emmett. You should be glad I gave you my permission to date my sister," Jasper says, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

The guy grins. His eyes move over to my brother, who is still busy dry-humping his girlfriend.

"Oh-,"

I laugh the first real laugh after the horrible news two weeks ago. "Hi, I'm Edward."

"Good to meet you. Wow, you two really look alike. This is going to be fun."

The school bell rings and I wave my hand at Anthony and Tanya, who have eventually managed to let go of each other. I walk after Jasper through the entire building until we reach the class room. He has a nice butt, too. Crap, stop staring at it or you'll get hard. You can't get hard at school, damn it.

"Anthony," the teacher says, looking up from his desk. "I didn't know you decided switching courses."

"I'm not Anthony. My name is Edward Masen." I hand him the note my stepmother gave me this morning.

"Remarkable. We're going to have some trouble keeping you and your brother apart. Now, take a seat. There is only one left in the last row, next to Mr. Hale."

He turns to Jasper and hisses between his teeth. "Don't think I don't know why you choose to sit there. Remember, my eyes are everywhere."

We sit down, and I move my chair as far away from his as possible. Sitting so close to him gives me an even better view of his divine physic. I can see the muscles under his skin flexing when he pulls up the sleeves of his shirt. There's a big scar running from his wrist up to his elbow.

"Do you like school?" Jasper whispers, leaning over to me. His breath is hot against my ear. The heat it causes inside me is almost unbearable.

"Most of the time," I answer, "but Biology is not my favorite subject."

The teacher clears his throat and announces that today's going to be a lecture on safe sex. He lets a box with half-rotten bananas pass through the class. Followed by another one filled with condoms in colorful foil wrappings.

"I hold. You roll." Jasper suggests, wrapping his hand around the banana.

I nod and take the condom. My hands are sweating, and I can't manage to get the package open. So, I lift it to my mouth to rip the foil with my teeth.

"Jeez, not with your teeth, man. You'll get a hole in it and then you'll be changing diapers a few months later. Here," he says, taking the condom package from me. "See, that's how it opens. Not that different, right?"

My face is red. I can feel it getting even redder when he presses the banana between my hands. "Just hold it. I'll handle the rest."

Fascinated I watch how he pinches the tip of the condom between two fingers. Then he rolls it down over the banana, and I can't stop myself from picturing him doing the same thing on my cock. The little sucker seems to like the thought, because he stirs inside my pants, making them uncomfortably tight.

"There we go," Jasper says. His voice is a bit raspier now than minutes ago. I shift in my seat and grab my jacket to hold it over my crotch. This is embarrassing.

"Did you have a girlfriend back in Chicago?" he asks, running his fingertips up the condom covered fruit.

"No."

"Does that mean you're still a virgin?"

"Mind your own business." I snarl, my already reddened face turning crimson. I press my hands against my semi-hard cock in a painful attempt to get it down.

Jasper chuckles deeply, and unfortunately that attracts the teacher's attention.

"Hale, I'm warning you. We don't offer endless chances here at St. Volterra. If your mother wasn't on the school board…,"

"Yeah, I got it, Mr. Aro. No reason to burst a vein. We're just finished with your banana project."

"Fine, then you should open your textbooks to page twenty-eight and start with the questions on the article there. No more noise from you, Hale, or you'll be spending your afternoon in detention again."

The rest of the school day flies by. I only see my twin during lunch break. He has a salad, while I eat a hotdog with some burned onions on top of it.

"You should stop eating meat, Edward." Tanya says, while her acrylic nails move over my brother's knee. "Animals have a soul, too."

"I'm not even sure if you have a soul, Tanya." Jasper tells her, taking a bite from his own hotdog. A bit of ketchup trickles down his chin and I want to bend forward to lick it off his skin.

"I feel much better since I stopped eating meat. You should try it, too. Mom is great at cooking vegetarian meals."

"She's not our mother!" I call out, dropping my hotdog on the tray. "Our mother is dead."

I grab my tray and put it away. Then I rush outside, managing it to make it behind the school building before I break down and cry.

A few minutes later, I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up.

"Shit, I'm sorry," Anthony mumbles. "I tend to forget how hard all of this must be for you. What was Mom like? I always wanted to know."

"Hasn't Dad told you about her?"

"Yes, but not much. I found a picture from their wedding day. She was pretty. We look a bit like her."

"We do," I state, wiping my eyes. "She was thick-headed. We fought a lot. Both of us had some temper issues when we were angry."

"Then she's pretty different from Dad. I've never heard him raise his voice. He's so calm and controlled all the time. I guess that's necessary when you're a doctor."

"I don't want to be here."

"I know. I heard you crying last night. Look, if I can do something for you, let me know. I want you to like living here with us."

xxxx

Time moves on like it always does. After the first few days, I actually warm up to my twin brother. He confesses that he secretly hates the whole 'vegan nonsense' as he calls it and is just going with it to impress Tanya.

"How long have the two of you been dating?" I ask him while I flip through the TV channels, unable to find anything interesting enough to watch.

"Eight months. Isn't that amazing? She'll want us to do it soon. I have a feeling."

"You're not…um, doing it yet?"

"I'm a lucky guy and my girl knows how to make me happy, but no…we haven't gone all the way yet."

He smirks and lifts hi can of grape juice to his mouth. "What about you? Have any of the girls at school caught your attention? I think Mallory and Stanley have it pretty thick for you."

"They're not my type."

"Mallory is a slut. I wouldn't want to put my dick near her if she were the last woman on earth. As for Jessica…she's nice, if you don't mind her non-stop babbling."

"I don't think she and I would make a good match."

"You're too picky. Isn't there anyone you like?"

I blush and look down at my untied shoelaces. Yes, there is someone, but I don't feel comfortable telling him about my interest in his best friend. Anthony wouldn't understand, and I'm a hundred percent sure Jasper is not gay. He can't be gay, right?

"You're blushing. Dirty thoughts, ay? Tell me who she is and I'll help you get in to her pants."

"I don't want in anyone's pants."

"Don't be shy now. I'm your twin. Your happiness is my happiness."

"Fine, there is someone but we can't…I can't…well, it's complicated."

"Let me guess. She's taken? That really sucks," he says, patting my shoulder.

I nod my head and turn my attention back to the TV while he pulls out his cell and types a message.

"Do you want to go to party with me tonight? Jasper's mom is in Austin for the weekend and he and Rosie want to make use of this rare opportunity."

"Jasper? The party is at his place?"

"Something wrong with that?"

"No, no, of course not," I say quickly. "Will there be a lot of people?"

"Just a few friends, it's going to be fun. We could dress up in matching clothes and try to find out how many people we can fool."

When we arrive at Jasper's place two hours later, Anthony has washed out the gel from his hair. Instead, it is untamed, falling into his forehead just like mine. We're dressed in black shirts and jeans. I park the car and turn off the engine.

"You drive like a maniac. We're lucky no one pulled us over."

"Sorry about that."

"It's okay. I don't mind," he says, stepping out of the car. Rosie opens the door for us and grins. "Look, it's the terrible Cullen twins." Then she yells over her shoulder, "Tanya! Your boyfriend is here."

Tanya shows up, holding a bottle of Diet Coke in her hand. When she walks towards me and raises her hand to my neck, Anthony laughs.

"Do you like my brother better than me?"

"Anthony! Stop with this matching clothes stuff. What happened to your hair? It's all messy."

"I helped him style it without using a ton of hair gel."

"Well, it looks okay," Tanya states, while running her fingers through the dark copper on my brother's head.

They disappear in a room on the right side of the hall, and close the door behind them with a loud bang.

"Do you want something to drink?" Rosalie asks me. "We have beer, too—If Emmett and the others haven't killed all of it yet."

She gives me a brief tour through the house. There is a picture of their father hanging on the wall in the kitchen. He looks like an older version of Jasper, with short-cropped hair and a military uniform.

"I miss him," she tells me. "But it gets better with time. Losing a parent is hard. I'm sorry about your mother."

She pats my shoulder and holds up a bowl of popcorn. "Want some? It's caramel flavored. Jasper likes it."

I take a handful. It's sweet, maybe a bit too sweet for my taste.

"Where is Jasper?"

"In his room, skyping with our brother Peter. He's at West Point."

There is pride in her voice when she mentions her older brother. I eat the rest of the popcorn and take a bottle of beer from her. I take a sip, and it tastes bitter.

"That's not your first one, is it?"

I lie and shake my head no. One beer isn't going to make me drunk, right?

"Make yourself at home. Anthony hangs out here all the time. I have to search for my boyfriend now. He's probably still playing on the stupid X-box. Why do guys spend so much time with crap like that?"

She walks off, her heels making clicking noises with every step she takes.

I gulp down the beer and a slight dizziness spreads through my head. I'm not drunk yet, am I? Slowly, I stand up and stumble a bit on my search for a bathroom. There, I rinse my mouth and splash some water in my face. It helps, and I feel a bit better.

On my way out, I bump into Jasper. He looks tense, like something has pissed him off.

"Enjoying the party, Edward?"

"How do you know it's me and not my brother?"

"I've known Anthony for too long. He'd know better than to use my mother's bathroom. Didn't all the pink in there give you eye-cancer?"

"I didn't pay much attention to it."

"Do you want to see my room?" he asks, leaning forward so that I'm trapped between the wall and his arm.

"Why not?" I mumble, swallowing dryly. God, his presence makes me horribly nervous.

He smirks and raises his other hand to my mouth, dropping it a split second before his fingertips touch my lips.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Just one beer,"

"Your eyes look glassy. Alcohol is bad for you. You should stick to soda for the rest of the night. I don't want you to end up puking your guts out."

I nod and stumble again when I follow him to his room. It's small and crowded. His bed looks like he hasn't made it in days. Jasper tells me to sit down on it, and my palm glides over the crumpled sheets.

"You're different from your brother. That's weird because you're twins."

"Are your siblings and you alike?"

"That's different. Rosie is a girl. Our mother loved to dress us up in matching clothing when we were little. Everyone used to pinch our cheeks, commenting on how cute we looked. Both of us hated that."

He hands me a bottle of water from a desk in the corner of his room.

"Drink up."

The water is cold and refreshing. I let my eyes wander through his room, stopping at a picture of Jasper with another boy. It looks like someone has ripped off the left side of it.

"Is that your brother?"

"Yes, that's Peter," he says, sitting so close to me, that his left thigh touches against my right one. "He's in West Point."

"Impressive."

"It is. Dad was there too and our grandfather before that. He said it was the best time of his life."

"What about you?" I ask, taking another thirsty sip from my water.

"What about me?" he asks back, the muscles in his jaw tightening a bit.

"Are you planning on following your brother?"

"No way," Jasper says in a bitter voice. "They wouldn't take me anyway with my crappy grades."

"You'll never know unless you try."

"I don't want to try. Can we stop talking about it?"

"Sure," I say, finishing the rest of the water with a big gulp. The dizziness is gone now. Unfortunately, this makes it easier for me to concentrate on the beating of my heart. Being alone with Jasper makes me all tingly and there isn't anything I can do about that.

"You haven't dated anyone since you moved here. Is there a reason?"

"No, there's not."

"Too bad," he states, playing with the leather cuff around his wrist. It's covering a bit of a scar and I wonder how he got it. "I thought that maybe you're...," he says in a slightly husky voice. I stare into his eyes. They're a mixture of grey and blue, like the sky right before a storm. My hand reaches up, cupping his freshly shaved jaw. A moment later, his mouth is on mine and I'm in heaven. His lips are so incredibly warm and soft. I sigh, and his tongue glides smoothly inside my mouth to massage the tip of mine. Both of us jump apart when the door is pulled open abruptly.

"Jazz, have you seen my— oh, there you are." I was looking for you. We need to leave. It's late and I don't want to push my curfew again." Anthony says, running his hand through his hair.

Jasper's face stays a calm mask when he tells us goodbye. It seems so easy for him to act as if nothing has happened between us.

My heartbeat still hasn't returned to its usual tempo when we reach the end of the stairs.

"Maybe you should be driving. I had some beer."

"You're lucky, my woman hates alcohol. She says it brings out the worst in people."

He's chatty during our way back to his house. I still can't think of it as my home. Home was back in Chicago with Mom.

"Can you borrow me fifty bucks?"

"For what?"

"A hotel room. Tanya wants our first time to be special."

And renting a hotel room makes it more special? Women are weird.

"Why not?" I tell him, fumbling out my wallet. My fingertip strokes over Mom's picture. God, I miss her so much.

Anthony hugs me when I hand him the money, and tells me the big event is supposed to take place next month after prom. I don't care about the dance at all. Maybe I should just stay home that night.

"Why are you working for free in the hospital instead of getting a part-time job that will actually get you money?" I ask my twin.

"The good colleges like seeing this kind of social commitment. If I want to make it to Med School, that's inevitable."

"You want to be a doctor like Dad?"

He nods and steps on the brakes a bit too abruptly.

"Why are you stopping?"

"There was a squirrel."

A squirrel? He's risking an accident for some stupid rodent. Tanya has brain-washed him into a tree-hugger. Maybe love turns people into fools.

All night long I replay the kiss with Jasper in my head. I sweat and shiver at the same time. My dick hardens at the memory of his moist tongue against mine.

_I thought maybe you're…_

Maybe I'm what? Gay? Well, my erection tells me I'm at least gay for Jasper. And him? Well, he's the one who started the kiss. That ought to mean something, doesn't it?

My hand moves down my abdomen, playing lazily with the trail of fine hairs under my navel. I close my eyes and imagine my hand is Jasper's when I close it around the head of my cock. Again and again my fist glides up and down until I coat myself in the sticky essence of my release a couple of minutes later.

xxxx

The next day at school, Jasper is quiet. He sits next to me in Biology and stares down at the blank page of paper in front of him instead of taking notes. When Mr. Aro calls on him, he makes a snippy comment. The result is him ending up in detention for the afternoon. Jasper's mouth twitches, but he tries to act as if he doesn't care about it at all. That's often so with him. For some reason, he doesn't care one tiny bit about school. It's not like he's stupid, just lazy somehow.

"Are you mad because of the kiss?" I whisper, leaning over to his side of our table.

"No, I'm not," he whispers back and smiles at me. "Are you?"

"It was nice."

"Nice has a little brother named crappy."

"Mr. Hale! I told you to stay silent. What is there to talk about now with Mr. Masen?"

"I just asked him a question about the test we're having on Wednesday," I say, my face turning a bit red, like always when I'm telling a lie.

"Try to concentrate a bit better. It is bad enough Jasper thinks school is a waste of his precious time."

The bell rings and Jasper stands up from his desk, stuffing his books into his backpack.

"I'm going to ditch the rest of the day. Are you coming with me?"

I hesitate. Dad will probably be pissed at me if he finds out about that. But I want to be with Jasper so badly that I nod my head and follow him outside to his car.

"You'll get detention for ditching," he warns me, opening the passenger's door.

"Maybe," I mumble. "Or I could just tell them I got sick."

"They'd probably believe you because you're one of the good kids."

He pulls the grey pullover of our school uniform over his head and rolls the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows. Then he turns on the radio and starts the engine. We don't drive far. Just to the empty parking lot of a nearby park.

"So, the kiss was nice for you," Jasper says, turning to me. "How nice?"

"You mean like from a scale from one to ten?"

"No, not like that." He leans over and I hold my breath when his long fingers caress my cheekbone. This time his kiss feels different. It's more primal. His tongue forces its way inside my mouth. I fist my hands into the mess of honey-blond curls on his head and pull him closer. Eventually, he's on top of me and I can feel his excitement pressing hard against the inside of my right thigh. When he pulls back, I don't want to let go. I kiss him again. My tongue glides over his smooth upper lip. He tastes sweet.

"We need to stop. I don't want to do something you're going to regret afterwards."

Regret? Why would I regret anything?

Jasper sighs. He pulls down the window and leans back in his seat. "You're like me. I knew it."

"Yes," I whisper. "I think I'm like you."

He takes my hand and circles his thumb over the pad of my hand. "Does your brother know?"

"Does he know about you?"

"Anthony is my best friend. Of course he knows I like guys. We tell each other everything. Well, almost everything."

"Almost?"

"I haven't told him about my interest in you."

"Why?"

"Because you're his brother, that's why. If you and I get involved, things are going to get complicated."

I lift his hand to my lips and press them against his warm skin, savoring the salty taste before my tongue glides gently over the edge of his scar. How did he get that?

"How did you get the scar on your arm?"

He frowns and pulls his hand from my grasp, quickly pulling down the sleeve of his shirt. "Just don't look. I know it's ugly."

"That's not answering my question."

"I fell into some broken glass. Hurt like a bitch, but I've had worse. Can we talk about something else now?"

"Sure, we can talk about whatever you want. We don't have to talk at all, if you'd like that better."

For the rest of the afternoon, we stay in his car. I can't get enough of his lips on mine or my tongue thrusting into the moist heat of his mouth. Jasper is a good kisser, and it's obvious he's way more experienced than me. He rubs his thumb over my erection through my pants and I whimper when he pulls down the zipper.

"I want you," he states, breaking the contact of our lips. "And it's difficult for me to hold back when you make noises like that."

"Then don't," I whisper, guiding his hand to my pulsing erection. The moment he wraps his fingers around my shaft and lowers his mouth to kiss the tip is my undoing. He's not actually going to blow me now, is he? Fuck, he is.

I can feel my eyes rolling back in my head and hear some whore-like noise escaping my mouth when the tip of his tongue rolls smoothly from the head of my cock down to the base. I barely dare to watch as he puts first the tip, and then inch by inch of my length into the tight heat of his gorgeous mouth. How deep can he go without choking?

My question is answered when my cock hits the back of his throat. For a moment he coughs and I try to pull back. "Don't move," he instructs, "Let me try this again."

This time he doesn't choke. I can feel his hot breath against my stomach. When I come, he swallows loudly and releases my still semi-hard dick with a popping sound.

"I never had so much fun while I was ditching."

"Same here," I croak. God, damn it, Masen, that sounded completely stupid. You've never missed one single day of school before. And you sure as hell have never had someone blow your cock before. He licks his lips, and my eyes move to the prominent bulge in this pants.

He groans and looks to the clock above his audio-system. "Shit, how can it be after eight now? I should probably get you home before they alarm the cops or some shit."

"Shouldn't I...like take care of you first?"

"Edward, it doesn't work like that."

With that, he leans over and presses his lips against mine. I try to ignore the fact that he had my come in his mouth just moments ago when his tongue thrusts against the tip of mine. I feel selfish for not pleasuring him, but he assures me that everything is perfectly fine the way it is.

When we're in front of my house, he lets the engine run while he leans over to kiss my cheek.

"See you tomorrow, darlin'."

I step out of the car, and when I fumble for my keys, the door is pulled open.

"There you are!" Esme calls. "Your father and I have been so worried.

_You don't have to worry about me_, I think. But when I see the concerned look on her heart-shaped face, I don't dare say anything. Instead, I start mumbling some lame apology about suddenly feeling sick.

"Jasper that good soul was the only person who could take care of you?" Dad says suspiciously, when we sit down in the living room.

"It was my idea to ditch."

"You don't have to defend the Hale boy. I know what Jasper is like. He's a bad influence and I've been telling that to your brother for years now."

"The boy has a good heart. He's just going through some rebel phase." Esme tries to defend Jasper. In that moment, I want to hug her.

Dad takes a sip from his tea cup and clears his throat. "You can't ditch school. Your education is important. Your mother would agree with me on that."

That he's bringing up Mom now is below the belt. It's a mean attempt to give me a bad conscious and damn it – it's working.

"It won't happen again."

"Good. Just keep in mind that Jasper in not exactly the best influence."

I nod and go to my room, throwing my bag into a corner. My pullover smells a bit of Jasper when I pull it over my head. I like his scent. I want to drown in it and absorb its citrusy muskiness.

There is a knock on the door before Esme steps inside, placing a tray with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a glass of milk next to me on the bed.

"Just thought you'd be hungry," she says. "We had some tofu lasagna for dinner, but I'm getting the impression you don't really like vegetarian food."

"We never ate tofu back home," I tell her. "Maybe I just need to get used to it."

She nods her head and leans against the doorframe. "You're just like Carlisle. You never say when you don't like something."

"Why doesn't he like Jasper?"

"That's not true. Carlisle is just worried about the influence the boy is having on Anthony…or on you."

"You don't seem to share his opinion."

"I know what he was like as a kid. His mother Maria and I are in the same country club. He was such a dear child and his grades were even better than Anthony's. Anthony is doing well at school because he's working hard. Jasper is just smart without doing anything for it. It's a shame the boy is wasting his talent."

"Why do you think he's doing that?"

"I don't know. Sometimes kids just go through difficult phases while they're growing up."

"I like him, and I promise not to let him talk me into ditching again."

"It's good you're making some friends here," she states. Then she leans forward to flatten the sheets on my bed. Taking a closer look at me, suddenly a light chuckle leaves her mouth. "A hickey? I didn't know you were dating someone."

I shrug my shoulders and grab the history book lying on my nightstand. Esme is getting a bit too observant. I don't need her to take over Mom's role.

"I need to finish some homework." I tell her, forcing my lips into a half-sided grin that will hopefully pass as a smile. "Thanks for the sandwiches."

She walks out, closing the door behind me. I eat the sandwich and try for a couple of minutes to actually concentrate on doing some school work. Then my cell starts vibrating in my backpack.

"Are you grounded, pretty boy?" Jasper greets me on the other line.

"Are you?"

"For the rest of my life, as usual."

"You sound like you don't care about that at all."

"Jeez, pretty boy, you sound like my mother. That's not sexy."

There is a deep chuckle in his voice when he says the last words. My insides tingle at the sound of his breathing through the phone.

"You gave me a hickey."

"I know."

"Are you crazy? Everyone is going to see it at school."

"Wear a scarf or put some of this cover-up shit on it...my sister uses that all the time."

"Do you think I'm wearing make-up like a girl? Nobody wears scarves in summer."

"That's what you think, pretty boy. Hey, do you want to go out with me Friday night? Anthony has a date with Tanya anyway."

"Aren't you grounded?"

"Hale Manor is not fucking Alcatraz. I'll sneak out of my window, no problem."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"Don't you want to be alone with me again?" he asks, and I can hear him clicking his tongue. "I thought you liked our little…adventure in the car."

"Yes, but… I don't want you to get into trouble because of me."

"Unnecessary. Stop worrying. I'll see you tomorrow at school. Now go to bed and get some rest, Edward. You're going to need it."


	2. Chapter 2

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] I'm totally blown away by the amazing response I've received for this story. Boy slash is not my main genre but I heart the idea for this one so much that I want to give it a try. We'll see how things turn out.

Also, I want to thank those of you who to took the time to review. I'm terribly behind with replying but I want you to know that I cherish each one of them. They help me to grow as an author.

Hugs & smooches to Harrytwifan for being an awesome beta.

****2****

I can't fall asleep. After turning around on the bed for a while, I decide to go down to the kitchen for a bite. My stomach feels weird whenever I replay what happened in Jasper's car. He makes me nervous, and I'm getting the impression he enjoys that somehow.

There is still light in the kitchen, and my twin is sitting at the table. His nose is buried in a thick book.

"Hey," I greet him. "Are you still studying? It's the middle of the night."

Anthony is really overdoing it a bit with the whole learning thing. Yes, school is important, but that's no reason to torture yourself like that.

He sighs and takes a big gulp from the mug of black coffee in front of him. "Crap, there is no way I'm getting this into my head. It's hopeless."

"Maybe you should try again tomorrow," I suggest. "After getting a few hours of some decent sleep."

"I can't sleep. What about you? Why are you still up?"

"Can't sleep either, I guess," I tell him, and sit down on the chair next to him. "Dad was pretty pissed at me for ditching school."

"He'll calm down soon. What did you do?"

"Hang out with Jasper."

"Mo- Esme said you came back home after dark. What the hell did you do for so long?"

"Just talking and listening to music in his car."

"Good. I'm glad the two of you are getting along. Just don't take him as a role model when it comes to school. That wouldn't end well."

I nod my head and rub my eyes. Then I stand up and search the cupboards for some candy. Ripping a pack of Hershey Kisses open, I offer them to my brother before taking one myself.

"I shouldn't eat those. There's milk in them," Anthony states before ripping off the foil. "But they're just too good to resist."

"Being a vegan must be tough."

"It was harder at the beginning. Sometimes I used to wake up and my mouth was watering for a piece of bacon. That very rarely happens anymore."

"If you want to eat meat, you should just do it."

"I can't. Tanya says she won't go out with a carnivore."

I wonder if he asks how high when she asks him to jump. He's putty in her hands. It's so obvious who's the boss in their relationship.

He sighs again and turns his book to the next page. "God, this is fucking hopeless. I'll never manage to learn this before next week."

"What's next week?" I ask him, stuffing a bit more of the candy into my mouth.

"My French exam," he states. "The one I'm going to fail."

"How can you be sure about that?"

"Let me think. Maybe because I can't speak French? I'm fucking screwed!"

He closes the book and stands up from his chair. "Dad is going to freak if I fail. I can't fail. This is going to ruin my good GPA."

"How can you not speak French when you are in the advanced course?" I ask him. French is the only subject I was ever somewhat good at back in Chicago. I would have loved to attend the advanced course here as well, but it was already full.

Anthony pours the rest of his coffee down the sink and leans back against the counter.

"The truth? I've not set one foot inside that course since I started it three years ago. It was so easy to convince Mr. Laurent that I would study everything at home. When your grades are as good as mine, teachers give you all kinds of liberties. Everything was working fine. All I had to do was submit a written report at the end of each school year. I had this senior chick do it for me."

"Doesn't she want to help you anymore?"

"She can't help me during an oral exam. This afternoon, while you were ditching, Mr. Aro let me know I'm going to have mine next Wednesday. You can't cheat on an oral exam. That's fucking impossible."

"Well," I start hesitantly. "It wouldn't exactly be cheating if you're not going to be there."

"What?" he asks, raising his left eyebrow. "How is that supposed to work?"

"I don't think we have time to teach you how to speak French in a week. The easiest option would be that I take the exam instead of you."

xxxx

The next day at lunch, I can't manage to eat even a single bite with Jasper sitting next to me. The situation feels awkward. I want to take his hand, but he probably wouldn't like that here in public. Or would he? He's quiet today and continues to dip greasy fries into the mayonnaise on his tray before he nibbles on them.

"Aren't you hungry, Edward?" Tanya asks worriedly. "You and Anthony look like you didn't sleep well. Is everything okay, honey?"

"Yes, sure," Anthony tells her quickly. "There's no need for you to worry. Right, Edward?"

"Yeah," I mumble, sipping my Coke. Then someone throws down a tray on the ground next to me and I turn around. Rose has her arm on Emmett's and looks livid.

"How could you do that to me?" she yells, smacking Emmett in the head over and over again. "I hate you! I hate you!"

"Rosie, calm down." Jasper tells her, trying to get a hold on her hands. "Please, stop this. You're embarrassing yourself."

"He's the one who embarrassed me by screwing around with that slut Lauren behind my back. Jessica saw them. She told me everything!"

"Jasper, tell your sister this is bullshit. I've never cheated on her. I swear!"

"Em, that's between the two of you. Keep me out of it."

Jasper grabs his tray and stands. "This is too much drama for my liking. I'm going for a little walk now. See you later."

"Care for company?" I ask, trying to sound as casual as possible. If he tells me no, I'll get the point. It doesn't happen, and a couple of minutes later we're sitting underneath the roof to the gym. It's raining, and for a few minutes neither of us speak. This is what I like about him. Jasper doesn't feel the need to fill every goddamn moment with conversation.

"I hate when she gets all agitated. My sis has trouble keeping her emotions at bay when she's pissed."

"Do you think Emmett is lying?"

"Does it matter? He's her boyfriend, not mine. It's Rose who needs to trust him."

He pulls out a box of cigarettes and holds it up to me.

"I don't smoke."

"Neither do I," he states, throwing the package into the trash next to us. "Have you made up your mind what you want to do for our date on Friday?"

A date. He actually called it a date. My heart does a backflip in my chest.

"Um, we can do whatever you like to do."

"Kay," he mumbles, leaning forward to brush his forefinger over my mouth. Is he going to kiss me now? I close my eyes and wait for the touch of his lips.

"Open your eyes. I'm not going to kiss you here where any idiot in the school can see us."

"Yes, sure," I whisper. "I wouldn't want that either."

"Why? Don't you want people to find out what you are?"

"I don't mind anyone knowing I'm gay."

Well, technically no one knows I'm gay, but if someone asks me directly I won't lie. Will I?

We walk back to the school building in silence, barely making it to the class room a split second before Mr. Aro enters the room.

Today, he doesn't pay any attention to Jasper because he seems to have found a new victim. The dainty black-haired girl in the first row looks like a ghost. She's pale and nibbles constantly on her fingernails. When Mr. Aro calls on her, she stares right through him and doesn't speak one single word. The same thing happens several times until the bell finally rings.

"Hey, Brandon," James calls through the class room. "What was it like in the looney bin? Did they put you in a straightjacket?"

"Keep your fucking mouth shut," Jasper snarls. I manage to step back when he lifts his chair up and throws it towards the poor guy. Then he climbs over the tables and pushes James against the wall.

"Hey, I was just joking."

"So am I, shithead. I could kill you, you worthless loser, but that would just be a waste of time. Now, get out of my sight!"

"Mr. Hale, drop your hands from Mr. Tracker this very moment," the principle's nasally voice thunders through the room. "My office! Now!"

Jasper steps back from James and runs his fingers casually through his hair. When he follows the principle out of the classroom, he's whistling through his teeth. God, how can he be so calm when they're probably going to kick him out of school now?

I pack my stuff together and pull out the paper I have written my classes on. The school building is huge and I still haven't memorized where everything is.

On my way out of the classroom, I bump into the tiny girl. Her books fall down and I kneel down to help her pick them up again.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," I tell her. "My name is Edward. Anthony is my twin brother."

"Don't talk to the weirdo, Masen," Jessica tells me, tugging on my shirt. "We should go to the next class."

The entire way to our Literature class she babbles nonstop. It's terribly annoying, but I don't know how to tell her to shut the fuck up. My head is starting to hurt. How can one person talk so much unimportant crap in such a short amount of time?

I ignore her rambling and try to focus on the poem the teacher has written on the blackboard.

"And?" Jessica asks so loudly I finally turn to her again. "What are you saying? Do you want to go out with me on Friday?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't."

"Look, I know you're a bit on the shy side, so I'm trying to make this easier for you by making the first move."

"Jessica, I like you," I lie to her in my smoothest voice. "But I don't think this is a good idea."

"Don't you think I'm pretty?"

"Yes, you are, but still…well, I just don't feel like starting anything serious right now, and I don't get the impression you're interested in anything less."

Her cheeks turn a bit red and she quickly nods her head. "Just let me know in case you change your mind. Will you?"

I tell her yes, and that seems to make her happy for now. One day I need to tell everyone, including Jessica, I will never be interested in going out with a girl. This is not the eighties anymore. Coming out is supposed to be easy, right?

The rest of the school day passes by in a flash. When I make my way to the parking lot, Rose is arguing with Jasper in front of his car.

"Rose, it's enough now," Anthony tells her. "Just leave him alone."

"I won't. God, how can someone be so incredibly stupid? Expelled for a month? Jesus Christ, Mom is going to have a heart attack when she hears of this!"

"They should have kicked me out completely. It would have been less paperwork for Mom."

"What the hell is wrong with you, Jasper?"

"Rosie, you need to calm down. You're just pissed because you think Emmett wet his dick in Lauren's pussy." Jasper tells her, pushing the backdoor of his car open. "Now, get inside the fucking car so that we can get home."

xxxx

Anthony is very quiet while we have dinner with Dad and our stepmother. She's made some rice stuff with mushrooms that is actually the tastiest meal I've gotten here.

"How was school?" Esme asks me, and I shrug my shoulders.

"Like always."

"Jasper got expelled for fighting," Anthony says, pushing the food on his plate from one side to the other.

"Oh my god, that's just horrible. Did he hurt the other boy severely?"

"No, James is fine," I mumble, taking a sip from the glass of water in front of me.

"He's probably lucky nothing worse happened. Maria should send the boy to that military school. They'd teach him some discipline there," Dad says. "If one of you behaved like that, I'd do the same."

"Dad! Not that again. Jasper doesn't mean it like that," my brother tells Dad.

"You find an excuse for everything he does. Fighting at school is not acceptable."

"He was just trying to defend this girl," I murmur with a full mouth.

"Yes, sure, Jasper Hale, the knight in shining armor. Look, I don't have any more time to talk about this. I have some paperwork to do at the hospital."

He stands up from his chair and plants a kiss on Esme's cheek before walking out. The two of them are so devoted to each other. It's barely endurable.

"Is Maria really going to send Jasper to that school? That's going to kill him."

"Anthony, she doesn't know what else to do. The boy is driving her insane with his behavior," Esme states. "Maybe you should try to talk to him. I mean, you're his best friend. He listens to you."

"Jazz knows what I think about his attitude in school. It doesn't change anything."

I feel my stomach clenching and it has very little to do with the food I just had. The thought of Jasper being sent away is horrible for me. We finish our meal, and afterwards, I try to come up with an excuse to go to Jasper's place. Unfortunately, my brother decides to come with me. On the way there, I'm silent. I want to tell Anthony I want to be alone with Jasper, but I don't dare.

"Are you okay?" he asks, killing the engine. "You keep biting your lip as if you're thinking pretty hard about something."

"It's nothing."

"You can tell me."

"I know," I mumble, opening the door. There is loud music coming from the garage. That's where we head.

My heart makes a little jump when I see Jasper. He's sitting on a pile of tires, throwing darts against the wall in front of him.

"Prison visitors," he says with a grin. "How nice."

"Is your mother home?"

"She's off to kiss the principle's ass. I don't know why she can't just give it a rest."

Anthony grabs his shoulder. "Are you stupid? You got expelled for fucks sake!"

"I don't care."

"Anthony, just give it up," Rose states, walking inside the garage. She turns off the music and snarls at her brother. "He just likes the thought of ending up under a bridge."

We walk inside the house and notice the scent of freshly baked chocolate cookies.

"Are you baking?"

"She's not dating anymore, so back to eating whatever crap she likes."

"You're an asshole, Jazz. I hate you."

Rose pulls out the baking tray and places it on the counter. "Twins, feel free to help yourself. I'll be in my room waiting for hell to freeze over."

"Stupid bitch, she's getting on my nerves."

"Your sister is right for telling you off. Where do you think this bullshit is getting you?"

"Well, it got me an entire month off from school. That doesn't sound too bad to me."

"What kind of work will you get without a diploma? You will be squirting mayonnaise on burgers in some fast food place."

Anthony is getting more agitated with every word he speaks. His face is red. When his cell starts beeping and he walks out of the kitchen to answer it, I sigh in relief.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, my voice cracking slightly. "I didn't know he would give you crap about the getting expelled thing."

"It's okay. That's his way of showing he cares."

"Who cares?" Anthony asks, sticking his head inside again. "Edward, I need to pick up Tanya from her cheerleader practice. Her car won't start."

I clear my throat. "Just go and get her. I'll keep Jasper company."

My brother nods his head. For a moment, I wonder if he knows what's going on between me and his best friend. Will he be okay with that? Should it matter? My inner rambling is interrupted by Jasper pushing me roughly against the kitchen counter behind me.

"You coming here is the only good thing about this shitty day," he whispers, brushing his lips lightly over mine. I fist my hand into his hair. It's soft, and his mouth against mine is even softer. My tongue finds its way between smooth lips.

The sound of the front door opening again makes Jasper pull away. The muscles in his jaw tighten when three tall guys enter the kitchen. I recognize one of them as Jasper's older brother, Peter.

"God, it smells good in here," he states, inhaling deeply. "It seems like we've come just in time, guys."

Jasper crosses his arms in front of his chest and sighs. "Hey, Peter." Then he clears his throat and steps a bit further away from me. "Edward, that's my brother, Peter. Peter, this is Anthony's twin brother, Edward. I've told you about him."

"Wow. The two of you really look alike. That must be fun." He shakes my hand before he turns to Jasper. "Where is Mom? I wanted to surprise her."

"School."

"Let me guess, you pulled some crap again. Someone should knock some sense into your thick scull."

I feel terribly out of place. The guy standing next to Peter looks me over as if I'm some kind of insect. Creeper.

Rosalie rushes down the stairs and jumps into Peter's arms. She makes some annoyingly high-pitched sounds, and for a moment I think she's going to start crying.

"I'm so glad you're home, Peter. I missed you."

"No need to cry, Rose. I'll be here for an entire month. Guys, I'll just drop off my suitcase in my room, and then we can leave to get some drinks."

Peter grabs his bag and walks up the stairs. Creeper guy smirks and it makes him look a bit like a shark. "Well, there is my little Rosie all grown up. See, John? I told you Hale's sister is a real looker."

"It's a bit hard to tell with the baggy sweater she's wearing."

Rosalie blushes, and when she speaks up again her voice is trembling a bit. "Hi, Royce."

He takes her hand and mimics one of those hand kisses you see in old movies. Rosalie's cheeks are crimson.

"I got your letter," he tells her. "That was very nice of you to write me for my birthday."

"You're welcome."

"Can I get a little late birthday kiss? You know I don't get to—"

"Keep your fucking paws from my sister if you wish to keep them, asshole," Jasper hisses, pulling Rosalie away from him.

Royce chuckles and takes a step backwards. "No need to bust a vein. Rosie, you and I should go out for dinner this week. I'll call you."

"There is no way she's going out with you, sleazeball."

"Who is going out with whom?" Peter asks when he comes down the stairs again.

"Your sister and I," Royce states with a grin on his face.

"Tell her she can't do this," Jasper says. "That's a shitty idea."

"King, my sister is a little too young for you, plus she has a boyfriend."

"Ex-boyfriend," Rosalie states, emphasizing the word. "And I don't need neither your's nor Jasper's permission to date anyone."

xxxx

Friday night comes with the crappiest weather possible. There is a storm building up when I park the car two streets away from Jasper's house. This feels a bit more like an attempt to escape than a date. Maybe it would have been better to wait until he isn't grounded anymore. I highly doubt that is going to happen any time soon though.

A knock against the window startles me.

"There you are. At least it's not raining yet," he greets me when I open the passenger door for him. He is wearing that leather jacket again. It has effects on my body that should be illegal.

"Hi," I whisper, leaning over to brush my lips against his. The kiss is slow. I want to savor the feeling of heat that spreads throughout me.

"We'll end up spending the entire night in the car. I can see it coming."

"Where do you want us to go?" I ask.

"I thought we could do something classy for our first date. So, it's dinner at this steak place I love, and then we're going to see a movie."

He almost makes me crash the car against a hydrant when he starts rubbing his hand gently over my crotch.

"God, damn it! You can't touch me like that when I'm driving."

"Didn't know it was so easy to distract you, pretty boy. I'll keep my hands to myself to keep both of us safe."

He chuckles, and when I pull over to the parking lot in front of the restaurant, I crash my lips against his again.

"You're a fucking tease."

"I don't tease, ever. I always finish what I start. Now, let's go inside. I'm starving."

The steak is good, but I can't concentrate on my food. Jasper is distracting me too much. I want to know everything about him, and somehow that makes it difficult for me to figure out where to start. There is so much I want to ask him.

"Your sister told me you're going back to school on Monday."

"Yeah, unfortunately, I am. My mother has made a very gracious donation to that dump and they agreed to take me back."

I sip my drink, and watch fascinated how Jasper licks a bit of sour cream from the edge of his mouth.

"You should tell your brother we're together before he hears it from anyone else. He wouldn't like that."

"I know. It's just…I've never told anyone I'm gay."

"Well, then it's time to start. Don't you think?"

"Yes, I know, but...maybe I'm just not ready yet."

He sighs and places his hand on mine. His fingers caress the back of my hand very lightly and the touch makes my skin all tingly.

"I can be patient, but it's not my strong point."

"Okay," I whisper, my throat unpleasantly tight all of a sudden. I feel like I've disappointed him.

"Oh, there's our dessert. You do like chocolate cake, don't you?"

He dips his fork into the cake and lifts it to my mouth. "Try. The cake is to die for."

I open my lips and a little shudder runs through me as he keeps his eyes on my mouth the entire time. The cake is sweet and warm. I love it.

"Good, isn't it?"

"Delicious."

Jasper takes a bite and hums while he chews it slowly. He has such a sweet tooth.

"What kind of movie are we going to see?" I ask him.

"That's a surprise, but I'm sure you are going to like it."

"It's not a chick flick, is it? I always used to watch those with my mother."

"I don't think you watched this kind of movie with your mom. There are some good chick flicks out, though. Alice has some that are actually funny."

"Are the two of you friends? She's a bit…different."

"That doesn't mean she's crazy. I should have broken James' jaw for the crap he said about her. Bet that would have taught the bastard a lesson."

"Why are you so protective of her?"

"I just don't like anyone talking shit about people I care about."

"I see. Is it true what he said, though? I mean, that she was in an asylum."

"She was in therapy. It's not like they locked her up in a padded cell or something. Why don't you ask her yourself if you want to know?"

"She's not exactly a talker. At school, she barely speaks a word. It's like she's in her own world somehow."

"There is only one world, Edward," Jasper says, before wiping his mouth on a napkin. He ends up eating most of our cake, and afterwards, he insists on paying for dinner. I agree, but only if he'll let me pay for the movie. That makes him laugh, and I don't get what he finds so funny.

On our way to the theatre, he guides me through endless streets, and I lose my orientation completely until he makes me park in a dark alley. It doesn't look like there is a movie theatre here.

"Are you sure we're in the right part of town?"

"Definitely, pretty boy, definitely,"

We step out of the car, and he pulls me to the back entrance of a brick building. This is getting ridiculous. Is he trying to sneak inside the movie without paying?

The door opens with a loud squeak, and before I can protest, he leans against me from behind and his hot breathe tickles my skin.

"I've fantasized about bringing you here with me," he whispers, pushing me inside the completely dark room. I can hear loud moans from a bit further away. Where the hell are we?

Jasper takes my hand and guides me over to a ratty couch standing between countless boxes. Then he pulls on a curtain and light fills the room. For a moment, I'm blinded by it. Another groan reaches my ear and I look up.

It's porn. It's gay porn on a gigantic screen. There is a brown-haired dude with a beard who has two of his fingers buried deep inside another guy's ass. The man makes some grunting noises that make my own cock react almost instantly.

"Do you like it?" Jasper asks, letting his hand glide up my inner thigh. "I think you do."

"Yes," I whisper huskily, watching fascinated when the bearded guy replaces his fingers with his lubed-up cock. The movements are rough. The sounds of their hips slapping against each other makes every fiber inside me vibrate.

Jasper's fingers fumble with my zipper. I hold back a moan when he pulls it down and wraps his hand around my shaft. It will probably take about five more seconds until I blow my load. _Try to think of something non-sexy_, I tell myself. God, it's impossible with the porn in front of me and Jasper's hand gliding up and down on my cock.

"Fuck," I hiss through my teeth. "Stop…you need to stop or I'm going to…oh fuck."

He lets go of me with a groan. His teeth scratch playfully over my earlobe.

"Touch me, pretty boy," he demands, placing my hand on the prominent bulge in his jeans. He's hard like steel. I want to feel him in my mouth. My fingers are a bit shaky when I pull out his cock. It's thick and long and just perfect. He's uncut, and I tug very lightly on the skin before pulling it back. Jasper moans when I lower my mouth and take just the tip between my lips. I hum and let my tongue swirl around the head, tasting the droplet of slick wetness. Then I try to take him deep inside my mouth. It makes me choke and almost throw up my entire dinner all over him.

"Come here," he whispers. "You don't need to suffocate yourself on my dick."

He pulls me onto his lap and makes me whimper when he rubs his cock, still slick with my salvia, against mine. His hips shift back and forth. The sensation is overpowering. My insides clench, and my balls tighten as I erupt over his throbbing length. Jasper's body goes ridgid. He shudders, and a second later his seed covers both of us. A great amount of it ends up on my shirt, too. Crap.

My lungs are burning. It's like I forgot to breathe for too long. Inhaling deeply, I rest my forehead against Jasper's shoulder and wait for the beating of my heart to return to its regular speed. The movie is over. There is some low piano music playing in the background. It's helping me to calm down.

Jasper grabs something from underneath a pillow and wipes the towel over me to dry me off. Then he repeats the same on his own cock and pulls up his jeans.

"You've been here before, haven't you?"

"A couple of times," he admits with a smirk. "Which part did you like best?"

"I don't know…the fucking scene was pretty hot."

"Would you rather fuck someone or be on the receiving end?"

I shrug my shoulders. How are you supposed to answer a question like that when you're still a virgin? Yet, I'm not completely dumb. I know gay men label themselves as either top or bottom.

"Not sure yet, huh? You'll find out soon enough."


	3. Chapter 3

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] It makes me happy that so many of you decided to give this story here a try. I appreciate your interest a lot.

Big thanks to _Harrytwifan_ for being my beta reader

****3****

I really like this shirt. That's what I'm thinking while I search through the shelf above the washing machine. There's some stain remover, but I'm not sure if this stuff is going to work on sperm, too. With a sigh, I squeeze a generous dollop of it on my ruined shirt before I toss it into the machine and start it.

It's almost six in the morning, and I haven't slept one single minute yet. After my date with Jasper, I feel way too agitated to rest. The muscles in my abdomen tingle whenever I think of the touch of his cock against my own.

On my way out of the laundry, I bump into my stepmother who is just coming out of the guest bathroom right across the hall.

"Morning," I greet her. "Did I startle you?"

"No," she mumbles. "I just didn't expect anyone to be up this early."

"I was just doing some laundry."

"Why? I can do your clothes with everyone else's. It's not a big deal."

I shrug my shoulders. There is no way I want my stepmother near any of my sperm stained clothing. That's just too humiliating.

"I'm used to doing my laundry myself," I tell her when I see the strange expression on Esme's face. Is she hurt now? Crap.

Her lips twitch into a small smile. "That's ok. At least one man I don't need to clean after. It's a nice change."

"Why are you up so early?" I ask her in an attempt to start some conversation.

"I just couldn't sleep any longer" she whispers. "Your father snores like a drunken sailor."

When she nervously fumbles around with her hands, a small white plastic stripe falls out of her hand, and before she can lean down to pick it up again, I've already caught it.

Shit. Is this what I think it is?

As if she knows what I'm thinking, she says "Yes, it's a pregnancy test. Can you please not tell your father about this? I don't want him to know yet until I'm sure."

For a moment, I stare down at the two blue dots in the middle of the plastic stripe. Does this mean it's positive?

"You are going to have a baby?"

She nods her head and takes the test stripe back to shove it into the pockets of her bathrobe. "I need to see a doctor first to be really sure. These at home tests aren't always accurate."

"Hmm," I murmur, following her upstairs into the dark kitchen. She pulls a box of milk out of the fridge and lifts it to her mouth. Just like me, Esme doesn't bother with using a glass. Somehow, this makes me like my stepmother a tiny bit more. She's a nice person; it's just that she's not Mom.

"Are you hungry? I can make you a sandwich," Esme offers generously.

"No, thank you. Are you happy about the baby?"

"Yes, yes, of course. Your Dad and I, we've been trying for so long. This is like a miracle."

It's a baby, not a miracle, but women are probably a bit too emotional when it comes to this kind of stuff.

"It needs to stay a secret for a little while. Can you promise me not to tell anyone that you know?"

"My lips are sealed," I tell her. "Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?"

"It doesn't really matter as long as it's healthy, but…I think I'd like to have a daughter. Little girls are cute. You can dress them up so pretty."

"When I was a kid, I always wanted to have a little sister or brother. That was one of my biggest wishes."

"That's nice. I think Anthony is going to be jealous of the little one, but you never know. Anyway, how was your date? Where did you go?"

Date? How does she know I was out on a date? Does she have some weird spying abilities?

"I was just hanging out with a friend. We went to see a movie."

Esme giggles and grabs a handful of grapes from a basket on the table. "You spent over an hour fumbling around with your hair in front of the mirror for hanging out with a friend?"

My ears grow hot while I try to think of a good excuse. This is embarrassing. Why does Esme need to be so observant. Women are weird.

"What's her name? Is she a girl from your school?"

My stepmother would probably make a pretty decent FBI agent. I'm tired of lying, though. Somehow, I need to start telling people of my sexual orientation. Maybe it will be even easier with Esme because I don't actually care too much about what she thinks of me.

"I was with my b-boyfriend," I whisper shyly.

"Oh, I see." Esme states calmly. "That's great. Where did you meet him?"

"School," I tell her, feeling the heat stream into my cheeks. "But no one knows about it yet. I don't feel like I'm ready for letting people know."

"There is nothing wrong with liking boys instead of girls. I hope you know that."

I nod my head and stand up from my chair. A few minutes later, when I lay my cheek against the pillows in my bed, I finally drift into sleep.

A loud knock on the door wakes me up what feels like just moments later.

"Are you up?" my brother asks me, sticking his head in. "We're going to have breakfast together. Are you coming?"

"Yeah, sure," I groan, rubbing my tired eyes. It's around nine, and I've only slept for barely three hours. This calls for coffee, and lots of it.

"You look tired. What did you do last night?"

"I was just driving around. The car Dad bought me is great."

"Remember to stick to the speed limits. You don't want to get a ticket."

I smirk. "I could always declare it was you who was driving instead of me."

"You wouldn't actually do that. Would you?"

"No, of course not, I was just kidding. How was your date with Tanya?"

"Good." He grins. "Third base is all I'm going to say. She's like the most incredible girl I've ever met. I think I really love her."

There it is-the big L word. How do you know if you love someone anyway?

I jump into the shower, and when I towel dry my hair afterwards, I already feel a bit more refreshed and awake. The scent of fresh coffee and waffles makes my mouth water when I come down the stairs.

"Good morning, Edward." Dad says, waving. I sit down next to my twin and pour myself a cup of coffee. Thank god for caffeine.

"Waffles?" my stepmom asks with a smile on her face. It's so weird how she and I are somehow keeping the other's secrets now. The waffle taste sweet, but I pour a bit more maple syrup on top of it. Jasper's sweet tooth is starting to rub off on me.

"What are you planning on doing today?" our father asks me and my brother.

Anthony tells him he is going to work at the hospital for a few hours, and then he's planning on hanging out at Jasper's place. It sounds like a good plan to me.

"What is the use of grounding the boy when Maria allows all of you to spend time with Jasper at their house?" Dad states and shakes his head. "That woman is not strict enough with her son. That's the reason he's causing her so much trouble."

"I don't think so, darling," Esme tells him. She sips halfheartedly on the cup of tea between her hands. No coffee for her today. I wonder if caffeine is bad for pregnant women.

"Dad, I need to leave now," Anthony states. "Have you written that note for Dr. O'Hara I asked you to do?"

"Yes, I have it here," Dad says, pulling out a white envelope. "Are you sure that neurology is what interests you the most, because—"

"I think it's too early for him to specify on a field yet," Esme says. "Let the poor boy finish school first."

My brother chuckles and leans down to plant a kiss on our stepmother's cheek before he rushes out the door.

"Just leave everything on the table. I'll clean up when I come back from grocery shopping," Esme says, wiping her mouth with a napkin. She stands up and wraps her arms around Dad from behind. "Do we want to eat steak for lunch today? I'm dying for some meat and we can never have it when the boy is home."

"Vegetarian food is healthy. But steak sounds great to me."

I turn my head to the side when they kiss in a way that is completely embarrassing for old people like them. Esme's chair squeaks when she stands up.

"Are you well?" Dad asks me, taking a sip from his coffee. "You look a bit tired."

"I'm good. Just didn't sleep well last night. Maybe I'll crash some more later on."

"Do that." He clears his throat and sighs. "I feel like I'm not spending enough time with you. You're doing okay here?"

"Yes. I just miss Mom so much."

"That's normal. If you want to talk about things, I'm here. Well, I'm not always here, but I'm here for you, if you understand what I'm trying to say."

"Talking isn't going to bring her back."

"I know. But suppressing your grief isn't right, either."

There is a painful pull inside my chest. "Can we talk about something else, not Mom?"

"Sure. By the way, your piano is getting shipped here next week. I'm looking forward to hearing you play. Are you good?"

"I'm okay, I guess. Does Anthony work every weekend?"

"Your brother is ambitious. Have you decided what you plan on doing after school?"

I shrug my shoulders. There are still almost two years until graduation. How does one choose what you want to do for the rest of your life anyway?

"Well, you still have some time to make up your mind," Dad mumbles, refilling his cup with some more coffee. "You just need to find something that makes you happy."

xxxx

The physical tension inside me is almost unbearable. I can feel the heat radiating through the fabric of my jeans while Jasper sits next to me on the couch in his living room. He's so cool. His eyes stay focused on the video game flashing over the screen in front of us. It's some kind of strategic war game, and I remember how my mother refused to buy it for me. She thought it would glorify war or some kind of crap like that.

However, Jasper and my brother are about to screw me and Emmett, who has been paired up to play with me. A few minutes later, a loud buzzing sound declares our surrender.

"Again," Emmett growls. "And this time, I get to play with the _Major_ here."

"You need to learn to lose like a man," Anthony states, punching Em playfully against his broad shoulder.

"It's not fair. Jasper knows more about war techniques than any sane person should. We shouldn't let him play with us at all."

"You're an idiot," Jasper says, placing the game controller on the table. For a split second, I feel his knee against mine. My dick instantly reacts to the random contact. I want to place my hand on the fabric of his jeans, but I know it's impossible. This keeping our relationship a secret is crap. I suck at keeping secrets.

"Are you alright?" my twin asks me, and I instantly move a bit further away from Jasper on the couch.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"He's just pissed because we lost," Emmett says. "Don't take it to heart. No one ever wins against the _Major_ and his best friend here. In Hale's family, they don't teach the kids how to ride bikes. They show them how to conquer other armies."

"You know shit about my family," Jasper says, standing up from the couch. He walks over to the kitchen and returns shortly with a menu from a pizza place.

"Are you hungry? Just order whatever you like, guys."

"Always," Emmett says. He takes the men from Jasper. "We should get that one with meatballs and bacon on it, but the little tree-hugger here probably wants some broccoli or other veggie shit."

"One day you're probably going to get arteriosclerosis from all the fat you're eating. Then we can discuss my eating habits again," Anthony teases him. "We can order one with onions and green peppers. Edward, you can eat meat if you feel like it. I know you don't like the vegetarian food we're having at home."

I bite my tongue to keep me from mentioning the juicy steak I had for lunch today while he was working. Eventually, we end up ordering one vegetarian pizza and the one my brother refers to as cholesterol suicide. I like the taste of bacon. It's too delicious to resist.

When the doorbell rings, Rosalie rushes down the stairs. She's dressed in a black dress that shows more of everything than it actually hides.

"That's our food, not your stupid date." Jasper tells her, opening the door. "Keep the change," he mutters to the delivery guy before he balances the cartons back to the living room. "What kind of dress is that anyway?"

"It's from the money Mom gave me for my birthday," she snarls. "And I look fucking fantastic in it."

"Hi, Rosie," Emmett greets her. His voice turns all soft while his eyes move up and down on her body. They finally rest on her face, which is covered in a thick layer of black make-up stuff around her blue eyes. "Where are you going?"

"Out," Rose snaps. "I have a date."

"With who?" Emmett asks. "Whose face will I have to rearrange on Monday when we go back to school?"

She rolls her eyes and turns away, checking her reflection in a tiny mirror she pulls out of her handbag. "It's none of your moronic friends. School boys are idiots. I've decided to spend my time with someone who's a bit more mature and knows how to treat me like a lady."

"You're not a lady, just a stupid cow," Jasper states, leaning between her and the wall. "This dress makes you look like a twenty dollar hooker. Change into something different."

"No way! God, I hate you, Jasper. You're just an asshole. That's your problem." With that, she walks out of the front door without another word of good bye.

Jasper closes the door behind her and shakes his head.

"Dude, you can't just let her go," Emmett insists. He shoves a piece of the pizza in his mouth and chews loudly. "Who's the loser she's going out with anyway?"

"Old family _frie-nd_." Jasper says, spitting out the word friend as if it's bitter dirt on his tongue. "He's in West Point with my brother."

"That guy from Rochester, right?" Anthony asks, taking a piece of the vegetarian pizza from the box on the table. "Isn't he too old for your sister?"

"Does the bitch listen to me? I hate to see her with him. All of this is Emmett's fault though because he fucked around with the school slut."

"I haven't done anything with Lauren. I swear on my grandma's grave!"

Jasper lifts a can with grape juice to his lips and sips. Then he clears his throat and sets the can back on the edge of the table. "Listen, moron, if you want my sister back, I'll help you."

"Jazz, I don't think that's a good idea." Anthony says. "It's better not to interfere with your sibling's relationships."

"That was before my sis decided to hook up with the greatest asshole under the sun," Jasper declares. He munches on a piece of bacon from the pizza, and I want to lick off the droplet of grease that trickles down the side of his mouth a moment later.

Don't get hard. I try to command my cock. You can't get hard now. That would be fucking embarrassing.

"You need to buy her flowers. She likes purple orchids. Oh, and candy. Buy her some of those vanilla cupcakes from the bakery across from the school. She loves them. Then you are going to apologize like you've never apologized before."

"What for?" Emmett asks. "I haven't done anything wrong."

"Shithead, you really don't know a thing about how women think. Apologize to her. Squeeze out some tears and she'll forgive you. Rose likes you. I know she does."

We finish the pizza and play a second round of the video game-that Emmett and I lose again. He tells us goodbye and leaves, promising Jasper he'll listen to his advice for dealing with his sister.

"Edward, do you want to go home, too? I need to finish this essay for my history class."

I shrug my shoulders. Spending time with Jasper when others are with us doesn't feel half as good as when we are alone. This situation is getting awkward.

"I can drive him home later," Jasper says in a deep voice, smooth like liquid honey. "He needs a bit of private lessons on this game. I like a good challenger."

"Kay. See you later, guys," Anthony murmurs. For a moment, I wonder if he's suspicious. I don't want him to be pissed at me because I'm with his best friend.

"Looks like we're finally alone, pretty boy," Jasper breathes into my ear. The warmth of his lips sends a wave of tingles down my entire spine.

"Do you want to play some more?" I ask him, a bit breathless.

"I know a lot of games I'd like to play with you. Most of them end with you surrendering to me."

He pushes me back against the cushions of the couch and straddles my lap. I whimper against his mouth when his tongue glides between my lips. I can feel him hard against my thigh. It makes my own cock twitch inside the tight cage of my jeans.

"You're hard. Does the thought of surrender turn you on?"

"No," I groan. "That's just you."

I cup his jaw in my hand, letting my fingertips brush gently over the stubble on his chin. Is this what he wants from me? I am the weak one and he's the one in charge? Does he want me to be his bitch or something?

"Stop chewing on your lip. Just tell me what's on your mind before your head explodes or worse."

"You're a top. Does that mean I need to choose to be a bottom?"

"Edward, it doesn't work like that. That's not something you have a choice in."

"But you're pretty dominant."

"I just like to lead. That's part of my personality. Do you feel like I'm pushing you too much? I'm sorry about that."

"No. It's just…I've never been with anyone apart from you. All of this is new to me. It's a bit overwhelming."

"I see. Have you told anyone about your orientation so far? Talking helps."

"I've told my stepmother about you. Well, not directly about you. I just mentioned that I've been out with my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" Jasper chuckles. "You think of me as your boyfriend?"

Crap, shouldn't I have said that? He never actually declared that we are together now-officially.

"No, I don't," I stammer out eventually.

"What, am I not good enough for you now?"

I shake my head and manage to distract him for a moment by tickling his side to push him flat on the couch. "I didn't mean it like that. You can be my boyfriend anytime." I breathe against his parted lips. God, he feels good underneath me. I suck on his throat and admire the crescent mark my teeth leave on his pale skin. My fingers move down his torso, unbuttoning his shirt. It's then I see the true dimension of his scar. In a bulky nest of angry red, it covers his entire shoulder down to his chest.

"Don't look at me," he whispers, barely audible. "I know it's ugly."

"Shush," I breathe against his mouth. "It's just a scar."

I let my palm glide over his ribcage and over the muscles of his abdomen. Under his clothes, he's even more muscular than I thought. Jasper is definitely working out. Maybe I should start doing the same.

I lean down and press my lips against the tiny nipple. This makes him shudder, and when I roll my tongue teasingly slow around it, he hisses some profanities. Great, so he likes being touched here. I need to remember that.

He pushes my head down, trying to get me closer to the prominent bulge between his thighs. Two can play that game, I think, sitting up straight on his lap. I grab his hands and hold them together above his head.

"If you want me to blow you, you need to ask for it—politely."

"Please," he breathes. "Mr. Masen, would you do me the incredible honor of worshipping my humble cock with your mouth before I jizz my pants like a fucking twelve-year-old."

"As you wish, my prince, as you wish," I mutter, pulling down the zipper of his jeans. His uncut cock fascinates me. I'm tempted to grab my cell and take a picture of it. So much extra skin to play around with, it's intriguing.

I wrap my hand around the base of his cock and lower my head to touch my lips softy against the moist head. He's big. I don't want to embarrass myself by choking again.

"Suck me," Jasper whispers. "Please."

My lips close around the tip, and I slowly glide back and forth, taking him deeper and deeper into my mouth with every forward movement. The moment he hits the back of my throat, I cough. Damn it. Why can't I do this properly?

"Don't go so deep," he tells me huskily. "Use your tongue. Yes…fuck, just like that. Keep going."

I swirl my tongue around the head of his cock, tasting the slick precum in the slit before I lick down to the base in one long movement. He grabs my hair roughly, and when he jerks his hips upwards, I taste the first spurt of bitter semen in my mouth. I don't think. I act and swallow his release as quickly as possible.

When I pull back, I cough again and my eyes are teary. I'm starting to get a hint of why it is called blow _job_. This is not as easy as it looks when you watch someone do it in a porn movie. Maybe I'm just crap at it. That's probably the real problem here.

My inner struggle is interrupted by the feeling of Jasper's long fingers against my crotch. The moment his lips close around my shaft I'm in my personal sex heaven. His lips feel hot and perfectly moist, and I tremble. I watch, captivated, how he takes me into the amazing heat of his mouth. Unlike me, he knows what he's doing. There is no choking, just the tightening of his throat around my tip when he swallows around it. I close my eyes and climax with a soft cry. Damn it. This is too fucking good.

"Look at me, pretty boy," he whispers. "Let me see your eyes."

He licks me clean and runs his fingers gently over my balls, before tugging my softened cock back into my boxer shorts. For a few minutes, I rest my head against his bare chest. The beating of his heart makes me a bit sleepy.

"Are you tired? You look like you're about to pass out at any moment."

"Didn't sleep well."

"Dirty thoughts?" he asks, running his fingers through my hair. "I bet you couldn't sleep because of me."

"Maybe," I murmur. "There's just a lot of stuff on my mind right now."

"Too much thinking is not good."

"Is that way you don't give a crap about school? I've never met anyone who so obviously dislikes it so much as you."

"Does it bother you?"

"No. No, it doesn't. I just want to understand why."

"Why?"

Because I want to know everything about you, I think. That's not what I tell him, though. Instead, I clear my throat, swallowing the faint taste of his come in my mouth. "It doesn't really matter. The school really sucks. I hate wearing a uniform. It feels awkward."

"You've not been to a private school before, have you?"

"My mother was a nurse. How would she have had the money to pay for a snobbish place like St. Volturia?"

"I see. What was your mother like?" he asks. It feels awkward to me to talk about Mom with Jasper. Hell, it feels awkward to talk about her with anyone. It makes me too sad.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I know it's difficult."

"It doesn't feel real to me that she's not coming back. Somehow, it's like I'm on some kind of weird vacation here. That sounds pretty stupid, doesn't it?"

He shakes his head. Then he brushes his lips against my temple. "It will get better. Time doesn't change things, but it makes them easier to endure."


	4. Chapter 4

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hey, everyone. I know it's been too long since I updated this story, but here's a brand new chapter for you.

I want to thank you for the lovely reviews and all the alerts. It's great that some of you like what I'm doing with this project. Thanks for your support.

*Thanks to **HarryTwifan** for being my beta reader. I appreciate all your help.

#The – "I'm not your Mommy but I care" – section:

I just want to emphasize that in real life, condoms always, always should be used. Safe sex is hot sex. Got it?

Now on with the chapter itself; I hope you'll enjoy.

****4****

My hands are sweating, and for the tenth time in five minutes I rub them over the fabric of my pants. The teacher's eyes are on me and I can feel the unpleasant heat streaming right into my ears that turn into a traitorous red color.

"Is it too warm for you, Mr. Cullen?" he asks me, granting me a shark-like smile. I didn't know it was possible to look that creepy just by showing a little bit of teeth.

I clear my throat and tell him that I'm perfectly fine, just a bit nervous about the upcoming oral exam. My fingers close around the glass of water standing on my desk, and when I lift it to my mouth, I spill a bit over my shirt.

This is never going to work, I think, opening up the textbook in front of me. When I suggested to my twin that I would take his French exam instead of him, the plan seemed so easy to me.

What I didn't consider was the fact that I'm the shittiest liar under the sun. I couldn't tell a proper lie to someone's face, even if my life depended on it.

The door of the room opens and a tall, blonde woman dressed in a grey dress enters the room.

"Hello, Edward," she greets me cheerfully, after shaking Mr. Laurent's hand. I can see how his eyes stay a bit longer on her cleavage than appropriate for a gentleman to do so. It's clear he thinks she's hot. What a disgusting old pervert.

They start with the questioning. The first sentences are easy, which makes me feel somewhat more secure. I can do this.

There is only one weird thing. The blonde woman seems to know me, while I on the other hand have no idea who she is. How do you pretend to know someone you've never met before?

A knock on the door interrupts my exam. Mr. Laurent sighs and drops the folder he's holding on the table.

"Come in," he snarls, making it obvious he doesn't like it that someone is disturbing him right now.

Tanya's strawberry-blonde head appears in the doorframe. She's out of breath, and it takes her a full minute before she's able to bring out understandable words.

"Mr. Aro sent me here. Mr. Laurent, you need to come with me right now!"

Laurent shakes his head. "Miss Denali, I'm in the middle of an exam. If this a stupid trick to help your boyfriend here to get away from it—,"

"Pierre, I'm sure, it's important," Blondie teacher assures him. "And I feel like we've already asked Edward enough to let him pass the test. Don't you agree?"

Her voice gets sweet and high when she says the last sentence, her fingertips playing with a wisp of her long her.

I can see a bit of saliva drooling down the corner of Mr. Laurent's mouth. It's so disgusting.

"Well, Irina, if you think so. Cullen, you are dismissed. Tanya, what is it Mr. Aro needs me for?"

Tanya clears her throat twice before she speaks up. "We have an A5 problem. They have already called an ambulance, but as you are the school psychologist—"

I have no clue what the hell an A5 problem is supposed to be, but it makes Mr. Laurent rush out of the classroom, so quickly he doesn't even remember to put his jacket back on.

"Hey, darling," Tanya purrs into my ear as she wraps her arms around me. The overly sweet scent of vanilla perfume makes me choke. I hold still while she plants a kiss on my cheek. "Did everything go okay? I felt so much better after I found out my cousin would be assisting that jerk Laurent with your exam."

Cousin? The teacher is Tanya's cousin? I made a mental note to kick my brother hard for not telling me about this beforehand.

"It was okay," I tell Tanya, trying to shift further away from the perfume wave surrounding her. "I passed, and that's all that counts."

We tell her cousin goodbye, and on the way out of the classroom, Tanya loops her arm through mine. I feel tempted to stick it to her that I'm not Anthony. I mean, if you love someone, you should notice the difference between your lover and another person, even if they look alike.

"Oh, darling, I'm so glad you have that stupid exam over now. You were so awfully nervous about it."

"Yeah," I mumble, kneeling down to tie my shoe laces again and get a moment of fresh air. How my brother can endure that scent all the time is beyond me. Maybe love doesn't just make people blind, it also does some weird stuff with their sense of smell.

"I've got something to show you," Tanya announces proudly. She scans the area around us, as if she wants to make sure nobody can see us. Then she pulls out a blue plastic box and holds it up.

What the hell is that supposed to be? I open the box to find a flesh colored round thing in it. "Ah, nice," I mumble. "What exactly is that?"

She rolls her eyes and slaps me playfully against my ribs. "Don't be silly. It's my diaphragm. You remember how we talked about it?"

"Yes, sure, of course, I remember," I tell her quickly, closing the plastic box to hand it back to her.

"I can't wait for prom to come," she states, fisting her hands into my hair. "I know all this waiting is hard for you."

Her mouth is on mine before I have the opportunity to turn my head to the side or back away. Tanya notices how my body tenses, though. After a few moments, she pulls back from the kiss with a sigh.

"You are weird today. I don't know what's wrong with you."

"Nothing," I croak, trying to be discreet as I wipe off her lip gloss from my mouth with the back of my hand. "It's nothing."

She smiles at me and tugs on my hair that I've combed back today with a gracious amount of hair gel in order to make it look exactly like Anthony's.

"Do you want to go and watch like the others or do we want to stay here?"

"Watch what?" I ask her, knowing whatever there is outside to see will be better than spending the next following minutes alone with Tanya. My brother will probably be mad at me enough that she kissed me once.

"Brandon has climbed up to the roof of the gym and is yelling around that she can fly."

"Oh, my god."

"She's crazy. I feel so bad for her. What if she actually jumps this time?"

There is a huge group of students and teachers standing around the front of the gym when Tanya and I make it outside. Mr. Aro is shouting into a loud speaker that the students are supposed to go back inside and there is nothing to see here.

Apparently, no one agrees with him. Someone has started a chorus. "Fly, Alice, Fly." And the rest of the crowd is singing it loudly now.

"There you are," Anthony calls out, waving his hand at me. Tanya plants a wet kiss on my cheek before she walks off to stand with her friends.

"You passed," I whisper into my brother's ear.

I notice Jasper standing a bit further away from the rest of the group. His eyes are focused on the tiny black-haired figure dancing around on the gym roof. Every few minutes she comes so close to the edge of the roof I have to close my eyes. I can't watch that. This is going to end badly.

"Fly, Alice, Fly!" James roars, bursting out into laughter. "God, that's one crazy bitch."

Jasper moves forward. I expect him to punch James again, but it doesn't happen. Instead, my boyfriend jumps over the plastic band the police have fixed around the entire building. There is a jumping sheet too, but how are they going to make sure Alice jumps right on that and nowhere else?

With the animalistic elegance of a lion rushing up a tree, Jasper starts climbing up the fire escape.

"Mr. Hale, come down here, right now!" Mr. Aro yells after him. "Jasper, I swear, if you don't listen to me, I'll have you expelled! Mr. Hale!"

Jasper doesn't hear him. Maybe he doesn't want to hear Mr. Aro. He's too focused on climbing up the rusty fire escape. When he reaches the top, I exhale deeply, realizing I've been holding my breath the entire time, he was climbing.

I can see how Jasper reaches out his hand towards Alice, who is still jumping around on the roof. Then suddenly, they're out of sight. The time seems endless, but is probably only ten minutes before a door at the side of the gym opens and Jasper stumbles out again. There is blood on the back of Alice's white blouse, and she holds on to him like a little child while he carries her.

A paramedic is next to them within seconds. Alice screams and tightens her hold around Jasper's arms.

"It's okay, little one. You can go with him," he tells her. "They'll take care of you."

"But I want to fly."

"You've flown enough for today," Jasper states, before placing her down on the ground.

The paramedic pulls Alice with him inside the ambulance. I wonder if they'll lock her up again. She's really crazy and a danger to herself.

"Crap, damn it," Jasper hisses through his teeth, cradling his left hand against his chest. I can see blood trickling down the sleeve of his shirt. My stomach churns. I can't stomach seeing anyone bleed, not even myself.

My vision gets blurry and I have to sit down on the ground.

"There you are, Anthony. Where is Edward?" My father's voice echoes suddenly in my ears. What is he doing here?

"Jasper's bleeding." I croak out, trying hard not to throw up.

"Sit down, Hale," Dad instructs him, opening up his medical bag. "That was pretty brave of you, boy. Let me take a look at your hand."

"It was nothing," Jasper tells my dad. "And that's just a scratch. Give me a band aid."

I turn my head to the other side while my father examines my boyfriend's injury.

"This will need stitches, but I need to clean the wound first to make sure it doesn't get infected. Anthony, just give me…Anthony? Anthony?"

I don't hear the rest of what he's saying. My head is spinning too much. The content of my stomach splashes against the tip of my shoes as I throw up in several waves. Then I pass out.

When I open my eyes again, I'm lying in a bed. My stepmother is sitting next to me and presses a wet cloth against my forehead.

"Hello, again," she whispers softly. "Are you feeling a bit better now?"

I nod my head and try to sit up in the bed.

"Lie still. Your father and your brother will come back soon. They're just at the hospital with Jasper."

"Is he okay?" I ask Esme, clearing my throat. "Why is he in the hospital?"

"He hurt his hand. Wasn't that why you passed out? I bet there was a lot of blood."

As slowly as I'm capable of, I sit up and rub my eyes. I feel exhausted. It's like I've slept for too long.

Esme hands me a glass of water, holding it up for me so I can take a sip.

"You're still so pale, Edward."

I cringe. How does she know I'm Edward? I'm still wearing Anthony's clothes, and even the silver watch he inherited from our English grandfather.

"How do you know who I am?" I ask her. "Is it because Anthony doesn't faint at the sight of blood?"

She shakes her head and makes me drink the rest of water.

"'Mothers can tell their kids apart. Why did you and Anthony switch places today? Was that supposed to be a joke?"

I nod, hoping she won't ask any further questions.

"Does Dad know?"

"I don't think so. It pretty much shocked him that a future doctor can't handle blood."

Esme pours me another glass of water, insisting I need to drink that, too. Then she asks if I want to eat something, and when I tell her yes, she brings up some cookies from the kitchen.

"They have raisins and cranberries." she informs me before stuffing one of the cookies between her lips. "It's delicious."

The cookies are good, and I mumble a thank you. My stepmother's hands move down to her still perfectly flat abdomen. Now that the pregnancy has been officially confirmed, it's like everyone is waiting for her to suddenly morph into a walking whale. Anthony actually googled the sizes of embryos at this stage of the pregnancy. They are fucking tiny.

Esme and I are just about to finish the last two of the cookies, when my brother sticks his head into his room.

"Mom? Dad had to stay at the hospital. Is Edward okay?"

"Yeah, he's healthy enough to eat. How's the Hale boy doing?"

"He's okay. I drove him home."

My mouth suddenly feels dry. "Can we go over and visit him?"

"You're not going anywhere today, young man," Esme states. "I don't want you to faint again."

Crap, now I'm forever the whiny loser who vomited and fainted in front of the entire school. Can it get any more embarrassing?

"She's very caring," I whisper when Esme walks out to leave me alone with my twin. "I don't want to like her, but she's making it difficult."

"You don't want to like her because of our mother, right?"

I nod, while I try to push away the painful memoires. It is weird. Sometimes, I'm so scared I'm going to forget Mom, and at other times, I can barely stand the thought of her. It hurts so much. When is this going to get better?

"How was the exam?" Anthony asks me, taking the leftover half of my cookie to nibble on. "So, I passed. That's great."

"Your girlfriend's cousin gave the exam together with Mr. Laurent. I think that kind of gave me some bonus points."

"Irina is hot, isn't she? She's very young for a teacher."

"Yeah, she's pretty," I mumble. "There is something I need to tell you about Tanya, though. She thought I was you and kissed me."

"Kissed you?" he hisses through his teeth. "You fucking kissed her?"

"No, not me…she was the one who kissed me, because she thought I was you."

Anthony looks pissed now. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the kiss to him. It didn't mean anything, and that's what I tell my twin.

"Didn't mean anything, hmm? The hottest girl in school is all over you and that means nothing? Are you trying to shit me?"

I've never seen my brother this agitated before. He really seems to think I would dare to steal Tanya away from him. It's so ridiculous.

"Look," I tell him. "I'm really not interested in Tanya. She's not my type."

I take a deep breath and press out the next sentence so quickly, I'm not sure if Anthony understands it. "I'm gay."

"You're what?"

"Gay. Like…totally…absolutely…irrevocably gay."

"Are you sure?"

"Are you sure you are straight?" I ask back, clearing my throat.

Anthony grins and nods his head. The thought of his gay twin kissing his girlfriend doesn't seem so threatening to him.

"How long have you known you were this way?" he asks, sitting down next to me on the bed. "Before you came here?"

"For a while," I tell him. "Are you…I mean, is that okay for you?"

He places his hand on mine and squeezes. "Whatever makes you happy, or whoever makes you happy."

xxxx

The next day after school, while my brother is working at the hospital, I drive over to Jasper's place. I can't wait to tell him the news that I've managed to come out to my brother. I still need to tell Anthony that Jasper and I are together, but small steps. Small steps are better than nothing, right?

He opens the door for me, holding a ten dollar bill between his fingers.

"You're not Asian."

"What?"

"You're not my sweet & sour number eighty three I ordered over an hour ago. I'm starving."

"Sorry," I tell him. "I would have brought you something to eat, if I knew."

"I'm not just hungry for food," Jasper states, pulling me inside with him. I straddle his lap as we sink down against the cushions of the couch.

"You fainted like a pussy yesterday," he chuckles. "I was worried about you."

I kiss Jasper's throat, inhaling the amber-scent of his skin. "I can't stand the sight of blood."

"It's okay. We all have things we are afraid of. The vomiting part was pretty gross, though."

I grab his hands a bit too roughly and hold them together above his head. "Maybe I faint at the sight of blood," I tell him. "but I'll never be a pussy. I'll never be anyone's pussy."

It is in that moment I know I want to top him once we have sex. I want him to groan underneath me as I push my way into his body. The thought makes me rock hard within a couple of seconds.

"You're hard, pretty boy," Jasper moans against my ear. "For me? To fuck me?"

"Yes," I mouth, closing my lips around his Adam's apple. I thrust my pelvis forward, desperate to get more friction. It's not enough. Jasper's lean fingers fumble down the zipper of my pants. I'm still wearing our awful school uniform.

"Relax," he says. A moment later, his hot breathe washes over my erection. The feeling of his moist mouth around my length is heaven. I wonder how often he has done this to get so good at it. My eyes roll back in my head when his throat massages the head of my cock. I can feel the muscles in my abdomen tensing up. A split second before I come, he pulls back, releasing my throbbing erection with a plopping sound.

"Come with me," he whispers, huskily. I can see the outlines of his hard cock pressing up against the fabric of his sweat pants. He loves having me in his mouth.

Upstairs in his room, he tosses some clothes and books from his bed and kneels down to reach for something underneath it.

"Lube?" I ask, barely managing to bring out the word. He doesn't really want me to fuck him now. Does he? Crap, he does.

For a few, breathless moments I watch fascinated as Jasper wiggles down his sweatpants and drops on the bed, exposing his naked butt to me for the first time. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do now. I know I need to prepare him first; I've seen enough porn movies to know about that. The thing is, though, this is not a movie. This is reality, and in this reality, my boyfriend has expectations of me.

I don't want to mess this up.

Jasper senses my hesitation, and with a husky voice, he tells me to put some of the lube on my finger. When I move the slicked-up finger between his ass cheeks a minute later, my hands are trembling. Gently, as gently as I can, I run my lube covered finger down the crack of his ass.

He moans, and that gives me the courage to lower my fingertip until I feel the tight ring of muscles against them. For a while, I just stroke around and around it, not daring to actually push my finger inside him. How long am I supposed to wait? Am I supposed to wait at all?

"More lube," Jasper groans, turning his head to the side to look at me. "Then I want your finger inside me….oh, fuck."

I squirt a generous amount of the lube on to my fingers. Then I lower my hand to his rosette again. The moment I push inside him with the tip of my middle finger, I'm about to come all over my stomach. It's hot. It's so tight. I can't even imagine that my cock will be inside this paradise in a few minutes.

"Deeper," he demands. "I need you deeper…yes…fuck…like that…"

I add a second finger, and very slowly start some kind of scissoring movement in the tightness of his ass.

"Good…so fucking good, " Jasper breathes after a while. "Do you want to fuck me now?"

My cock is throbbing in my hand as I coat it with a thick layer of lube. Can there be too much lube? I remember I should probably have put on a condom before that. Damn it. Why is it so hard to think when my fingers are in his ass?

"Rub-b-ber," I stutter out. He moans and mumbles something about him being clean and me being a virgin. I place my hand on his narrow hips and pull him towards me.

My heart is in my mouth when I press the head of my cock against his tight hole. Inch by inch I move forward, enjoying how his body so willingly accepts me claiming his. The heat and tightness is nothing compared to how it felt around my fingers.

It's like his ass is enveloping me like a glove of muscles and lava, massaging every inch of my length. When Jasper asks me to start moving, I can't. If I move, I'll come. I won't be able to hold back.

He starts rubbing his own cock roughly, hissing profanities through his parted lips. My hips jerk forward. Again and again, I thrust inside him. Every muscle in my body goes rigid. With the last bit of willpower I have left, I pull out, coating his lower back with streams of my release a heartbeat later. Jasper shudders under me. I can hear him growl my name as he comes hard into the palm of his own hand.

My entire body is sweaty now. I gasp for air while my heart hammers against my ribs.

Then, once I've managed to get my breathing to halfway return to a non-asthmatic rhythm, I pull Jasper against my body.

"I love you," I whisper, knowing this is probably the crappiest moment to tell him how I feel. But I need the words to be out there. I need him to know how I feel about him. That he means something to me. Something more than just fucking and blow-jobs and stuff like that.

He doesn't say it back, and that's fine with me. I am not fine with what he answers me instead.

"You shouldn't love me. I'm not good enough for you."

"Why?" I gasp, grabbing his chin between my fingers to make him look at me. "Don't you want me?"

"Do you really think we have a future or anything close to that?" he says, and I can hear the trembling in his voice. "You're smart. After graduation, you'll be off to some expensive college, where a ton of smart-assed, sophisticated college motherfuckers will beg you to fuck them through the entire Greek alphabet."

I touch my lips to his shoulder blade. "I want you, only you."

He struggles free of my embrace and grabs some boxer shorts from the dresser, then mumbles something about needing to shower. When I hear the water in the bathroom next door running, I get dressed.

I feel weird. It's like I'm emotionally empty now. When Jasper returns from his shower, I'm close to crying. Yes, I am the fucking bitch in our relationship, no matter which way I fuck Jasper.

"You're still here."

"You didn't tell me to leave," I state, crossing my arms in front of my chest. "Do you want me to go?"

He shakes his head and sits down next to me. The touch of his fingers is light as a feather when he places his hand on mine. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be difficult."

"It's ok. You don't have to tell me you love me. I didn't mean to pressure you. I just want you to know how I feel about you."

The edge of Jasper's mouth twitches. "You really love me. Why?"

"Because you fight for the people you care about. I don't know anyone who would climb up a fire escape to rescue a crazy girl from killing herself."

I lift our joined fingers to my mouth and kiss his knuckles. "Even my Dad said what you did was brave. You're a hero."

"Don't call me that," Jasper tells me. "I'm not a hero. I'll never be a hero. I'll never be anything."

"Why are you saying that?" I ask, tightening the hold of my fingers around his. "You could be anything."

He exhales loudly. "I don't want to be anything. I don't want to be anything, because I can't be the one thing I want to be. And nothing else has a meaning to me if I can't…if I can't be that."

Jasper's breathing is ragged now. He's trying so hard to hold back the tears. Crying is a sign of weakness for him -he's that kind of guy. I don't want to push him further than what he's willing to tell me. But I need to know. I need to understand why he thinks so low of himself.

"What do you want to be?" I ask him, letting the fingertips of my other hand circle up his forearm, stroking gently over the scarred skin there. "Maybe I can help you."

"You?" he chuckles bitterly. "You, and the way I feel about you. The way I feel about other men in general…that's the reason why I can't be what I've been born to be."

He jumps from the bed and rips the picture of his brother from the wall, tossing it into a corner of his room. "Dad was so proud when Peter got accepted into West Point."

"I don't understand what that has to do with you," I state, trying to get a hold around Jasper's wrist again. He's shaking from head to toe now, his body a quivering mass of suppressed emotions.

"Because this is what we do. This is what the Hale's have always done. My family has gone to West Point even before the times of the Civil War."

"If you want to go there so badly, do it."

"I can't! Can't you see that it's impossible? I can't! I can't, because fags don't go to West Point."

As soon as the last words leave his mouth, he drops to his knees, wrapping his arms around them. Loud sobs, like the cry of an injured animal escape his lips.

I kneel down next to him and pull him against my chest. I don't speak. I don't tell him some bullshit about everything being okay again. I just hold him.

He cries like only someone who has suppressed the need to do it for way too long can. His tears and snot soak the fabric of my shirt, but I don't care. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, he calms down. He sniffs, and I search through the chaos under his bed until I get a box of tissues.

"Just look at me. I cry like a girl," he mutters. "I'm really your bitch now."

"You're my boyfriend, not my bitch. I'm sorry you're so upset about the West Point thing," I tell him, handing him the tissue. "If it's that important to you…maybe you could go there and pretend…I mean…nobody needs to know what you do in your private life."

"Don't ask, don't tell," Jasper states, wiping the rest of the tears from his eyes. "The problem is that thanks to Asshole, everyone there already knows what I am."

"How?" I ask him. "How would they know you're gay?"

Jasper sighs. "After Dad's death, my mother sent me off to some military summer camp. It was great. I loved it. And there was Sam, one of my tutors. He and I…we kind of got together that summer."

"I still don't understand."

"Look, this is complicated. Sam liked me, but he didn't want anyone to know about it. He was afraid it would get him into trouble with the authorities, with me being a minor and all that shit."

"Someone caught you together."

Jasper nods. "One weekend, my brother and Royce came to the camp to visit me. It was Royce who caught us, not Peter. I don't know what Peter would have done to Sam if he'd caught him fucking me. He might have killed him."

"But Royce caught you, right? Isn't that the moron who's dating Rosie now?"

"Exactly, the same. When he caught me and Sam together, he was furious. He called Sam a rapist and a sick child molester. I told him to shut the fuck up, that I had been the one begging Sam to fuck me and not the other way round."

My stomach is in a knot. I feel like I'm going to be sick, and I can't even tell why. I feel like Jasper is opening such an intimate site of his personality, I'm not sure if I'm able to handle it.

"Royce said it was even worse that way. He said I was a sicko, and that if I ever showed my face around at West Point, he'd make sure everyone would know what kind of pervert fag I was."

When he finishes the last sentence, he spits out into the trash under his desk. "Do you understand now? I can't go there! And I have nowhere else to go instead. That is all I ever wanted."

I wrap my arms around him and hold him, waiting for him to cry again. It doesn't happen. He's very still though, like every bit of energy has left his body.

"We'll find something else," I tell him. "We'll find something else you like to do instead of being a soldier."

"What?"

"I don't know yet. Dreams can always change. Maybe it's time for a new one."


	5. Chapter 5

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] This is the last chapter for my little Edward/Jasper story. It was a fun project for me to work on. I'll definitely consider writing some more slash in the future.

Big thanks to all of you who took the time to leave such kind, encouraging reviews. I cherish your support so much.

****5****

"You are okay with it. Aren't you?" Jasper asks me, while his fingers fumble around with the buttons of my shirt.

I don't answer him. Instead I press my fingers down on the keys of the piano a bit too hard. The news he has just broken to me don't exactly make me happy.

"What if I'm not okay with it?" I challenge him, wrapping my hand around his wrist to stop my boyfriend from undressing me. He's standing behind me. I can clearly feel his erection pressing against my back. Tingles run up and down my spine. The feeling is most pleasurable. I can't get enough of it. We need to stop though. My stepmother is going to come back any moment.

Experienced my fingers glide over the piano keys. God, I really missed playing.

"It's just the stupid school dance. It means shit to me." He states, leaning down to caress the fine hairs in my neck with his fingertips.

"Then why do you want to go there?"

He sighs and lifts his hand to his messy curls. I love to run my fingers through the gold-like silk. Jasper doesn't like me playing with his hair. It makes him nervous somehow.

"I promised it to Alice, and I tend to keep my promises."

I nod my head and tell him that I'm perfectly fine with him going to the dance with Alice instead of me. The thought of having my coming out in front of the whole school is something that frightens me anyway. I know I'm not ready for it.

It is one thing to tell your family that you are gay. Even my Dad took the news well. Letting the whole wide world know about it, well, that's something else for sure.

"Look at me." Jasper demands. "If you tell me, you don't want me to go with her. I take a rain check."

"No, it's fine. Dances are important to girls. Even to the crazy ones"

The smile on his face freezes within a second. "She's not crazy."

Sure, she's not. Anyone can climb up the roof of a building because she thinks she's somehow achieved the ability to fly. That comes pretty close to my definition of being crazy. She and Jasper going to the Dance together? Why does it instantly make me think of the movie Carrie and pig blood?

"Alice is different. That doesn't mean she's crazy. You and I are different too."

The sound of the front door opening makes Jasper step back from me. I rise from the piano bench and take the groceries from my stepmother's arm.

Pregnant women aren't supposed to carry heavy stuff, right? She tells me thank you and starts unpacking the paper bags instantly.

Bacon and chicken wings? Are we finally going to have some decent food in this place?

"Hello Jasper." Esme greets my boyfriend. "How's your mother doing?"

"Okay, I guess. Edward, I'll leave now. See you tomorrow at school."

He smirks and waves his hand at me. I want to pull him close and kiss his mouth, but I know it's impossible with Esme standing next to us.

"See you," I whisper, grabbing a box with eggs from the counter to put them into the refrigerator. My hands are trembling. I end up dropping the eggs. Damn it.

"Crap. I'm sorry, Esme."

"It's okay. No harm done. Look, you only cracked two of them."

She cleans the floor and offers to make a second breakfast for both of us. I can never say no to bacon and eggs. The very thought makes my mouth water.

My stepmother has developed a hearty appetite since she got pregnant. By the time the baby is born, she'll be round like a balloon.

"So, you and the Hale boy." Esme mumbles, stuffing another stripe of crispy bacon between her lips a few minutes later.

"What?" I croak, sounding a bit retarded in my own ears. Did she see, Jasper kissing me earlier before she left? No, that can't be, can it?

"I think you and him make a nice couple."

"How do you know we're together?"

Esme sighs and lifts the fork with the scrambled eggs to her mouth. "Your face is an open book. I saw the way you looked at him and I knew."

"Anthony doesn't know Jasper is my boyfriend now." Jeez, that felt kind of good to call Jasper my boyfriend to another person. It somehow made it more real. If things can turn any more real than they are right now.

"You should tell him. It will be better if he hears it from you instead of from others."

"Yes," I mumble "I want to tell him soon."

Speak of the devil and –

"Morning together." My twin greets us, walking in from the back door. His hair is damp, like he just showered. The wide grin on his face shows me that his morning with Tanya went well. Apparently there is such a thing like a technical virginity and he and his girlfriend are pushing the boundaries right now.

His eyes look down at the pan with bacon and eggs. "Mom, this is just disgusting."

"It tastes good." I state, nibbling on my bacon. "Want some?"

"Do you know what that poor pig went through to end up as this bacon?"

"Anthony, it's okay. We know your attitude towards eating meat." Our stepmother tells him. Then, she walks over to the stove and fills her plate for the third time. "I think the baby likes the taste of bacon."

Smart baby, I think with a smile flashing over my face.

"Aren't you going to work today?" I ask my brother, trying to change the topic of our conversation.

"I can't. I need to get my car fixed. The engine makes weird noises when I try to go over sixty."

"Maybe you should just not drive that fast." Esme suggests, dipping the half of a chocolate cookie into a glass of milk. "That goes for both of you."

Anthony lets me drive his car to the garage. It really does make some strange rattling noises when you attempt to drive a bit faster. For a while my twin is very silent, like he's thinking hard about something.

"The dance is this Friday."

"I know. Are you nervous?"

He shakes his head. "I'm a good dancer. Mom sent me to classes when I was a kid."

"I wasn't talking about the dancing."

"Oh, I see." Anthony's cheeks turn a bit red. He shifts around on the passenger's seat and stars out of the window. "I'm trying hard not to be nervous about the sex."

"Good, because there is nothing to be nervous about."

"I know. That's what I've been telling myself for the last few days. The truth is that I'm scared shitless. What if I mess this up?"

"It's not like a school test. You don't only get one chance at it."

Anthony tells me to pull over into a back road. "Are you going to the Dance too?"

"With whom would I go there?" I ask back, killing the rattling engine.

He nods his head. "Right, it must be difficult for you to find someone to date."

We step out of the car and walk towards the main entrance of the garage with the neon sign - Black Repair Services - on it.

"Hey there," the dark-haired guy at the counter greets us. "Wow, are you twins or has the beer I had for breakfast have an unwanted effect on my poor brain?"

"Twins," I mumble, letting my eyes move inconspicuously over the impressive muscles of his biceps. There is a heart-shaped tattoo on the left one. Sarah Forever it says in blue-inked letters.

"How can I help you?"

"Something's wrong with my car." Anthony tells him while I try not to stare too long at the fine trail of dark chest hair that peaks out of the guy's shirt. He's hot. My cock twitches a bit in my pants.

"I can take a look at it. How do you want to pay, cash or credit?"

"Credit sounds better to me." My brother says. He pulls his wallet out to drop the silver-colored piece of plastic on the counter. "I just hope it's not going to get too expensive."

His cell starts ringing and like a puppy who is expecting a very good treat, he picks up as quickly as possible. "Hello, Darling."

He mumbles a bit into the receiver and hangs up with a sigh. "Edward, can you handle this here? I need to help Tanya with something."

She calls. He jumps. I really hope the fucking my twin is going to get on Friday night, will make up for all this brown-nosing.

A few minutes later, I've driven Anthony to Tanya's place and the car back inside the garage to get it fixed. Fascinated, I stand and watch how bicep guy bends over the opened hood. His firm ass looks good enough to bite it.

Is it already cheating to look at another dude like that?

"There we have it." The guy mutters, pulling a grease-covered cable out of the motor compartment. "Was just some perforated cable. It won't take long to fix that."

He wipes his dirty hands on a towel and throws it back into the sink at the corner of the garage.

"How's your name again, twin?"

"Edward." I tell him. "My name is Edward Masen."

"Nice to meet you, Edward, I'm Jacob. But you can call me Jake."

Jake pushes up the sleeves of his shirt a bit higher. By now, I'm sure he must be on some steroids. You can't get that bulked up without some extra help, can you?

"Like what you see?" he asks with a grin that exposes a set of very white teeth. "You're a bit too young for me."

"What? W-what?"

"You're too young for me, maybe in a few years."

I shake my head. "I have a boyfriend."

"Lucky guy," Jake states, grabbing a plastic-wrapped cable from a box. "It must be great to come out at such an early time in life."

Within a couple of minutes he fixes the car and closes the hood of the engine again. "There we go."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

His fingers move over the tattoo on his arm. Why would a gay guy have a woman's name on his arm? Maybe he's bisexual, right?

"Admiring the tattoo? I hate to admit it, but getting it done hurt like a bitch."

"Sarah's one of your exes?"

He grins, but the smile doesn't reach his eyes. They look sad somehow. "Sarah Black was my mother. She died when I was six."

"I'm sorry." I press out. "My mother is dead too." Speaking those words is extremely painful for me. I miss Mom. I miss her every single day and I don't feel like I have somebody to talk about her. Not even Anthony and Jasper. None of them understands the pain, I'm feeling.

"I'm sorry too. Has it been long?"

"Just a few months,"

Jake pets my shoulder. "It gets better with time. No matter what you think now. Time actually is a great healer."

There's a whimper behind the counter and a moment later something furry rushes towards us.

The little dog tries to bark but it sounds more like a chirping. I kneel down and stroke its head.

"That's a cute puppy."

"Care to buy him? Seth is the last in the litter. You can have him for half the price."

The puppy pulls on the laces of my sneakers with an unexpected strength. I reach out my hand and touch the soft sandy-colored fur. He's really a cute dog.

"How much?" I ask knowing that Dad and Esme probably wouldn't approve of me bringing a dog home with me.

"400 bucks."

Is he insane? Who on earth is willing to pay that much money for an animal?

"I think that's a bit too much." I mumble. "Sorry, Seth."

xxxx

Friday night comes within a flash. I help my brother to adjust the tie around his neck. He's so terribly nervous and almost forgets the box with flowers for Tanya on the desk in his room.

"So very handsome." Esme says when my twin and I walk down the stairs. She clicks the camera in her hands several times.

"Smile for me. Yes, just like. I need to save this moment for your father."

I take a last look into the mirror next to the door and rearrange my hair for the tenth's time. I don't like how it falls into my forehead tonight.

Anthony leaves to pick up his date and I get to spend a couple of more minutes with my stepmother. She takes another picture of me.

"You would rather go to the Dance with your boyfriend, wouldn't you?"

I shrug my shoulders. "He's taking a friend. It's okay. I don't mind. Dances are more important to girls than to boys."

"I think they are important to everyone. Those are nice flowers by the way." Esme states, pointing to the red lily I've pinned on my jacket.

"Thanks." I say. A loud honk outside makes me stand up from my chair. "Good night, Esme."

"Have fun."

Outside Emmett is leaning against the side of Tyler's van. I've been corrupted to spend the night with a bunch of frustrated date-less straight boys. Tyler actually had a date to the dance. Well, actually, he had two. That is why he's going there on his own now. Emmett is pissed that Rosalie is actually letting the dipshit named Royce take her to the Dance. I wouldn't mind him rearranging the fuckers jaw a bit.

"Hey dude!" Emmett calls out. "Wow, a flower. Are we going to a wedding?"

"Ever heard of a thing called style? The flower is for a very special person."

I know he's probably going to get this the wrong way but I don't mind. All I want to do is go to the stupid dance, have a couple of glasses from the punch, someone's hopefully going to spike and head home.

My throat feels a bit tighter when I see Jasper standing in a corner of the gym that has been transformed into a dancing hall tonight. He looks great tonight. The grey suit he's wearing matches his eyes perfectly. Carrie, aka Alice is standing next to him in a light blue chiffon dress. With her hair tamed and some make-up on, she actually looks pretty.

Both of them smile when they notice me and wave their hand at me.

"Hi." I mumble. "This is a beautiful dress, Alice." Girls do like to hear compliments like that, don't they?

"Thank you." She squeaks. "I made it myself."

And there we have the similarities to Carrie again. I shudder a bit. "It looks very nice."

"Would you like something to drink?" Jasper asks. Both, I and Alice answer simultaneously with a yes. My blond boyfriend grins and gives me a light slap on my ass before he walks to stand in line for the drinks.

I sit down at a table and watch how Alice pulls out a tiny mirror from her handbag and checks her reflection in it. At least that's what I think, she's doing until she speaks up.

"Pink? Vicky really has no sense of fashion. How can one wear pink with that carrot hair?" she mutters dropping the mirror back into her handbag. "No offense. Your red hair looks nice. Jasper likes it."

She pulls out some chapstick and puckers her lips before she applies it on them. "Are you angry at me because Jasper took me here instead of you?"

I shake my head. "It's fine."

"I think it isn't." Alice declares. "He should have asked you. Dances are so much more romantic when you go there with someone you love."

"Maybe,"

"Definitely, trust me. I'm happy though to be here. It's so nice. I love dancing. It's like flying."

Crap, I hope she's not going to climb up the roof again tonight. The doctors wouldn't have allowed her to come here today, if she was still that labile, would they?

"Are you well, Edward? You look a bit pale."

"It's just a bit sticky here. How are you feeling? Are you better?"

"Thanks for asking. No one ever dares to do that. I'm much better now that they've managed to get my medication under control again."

I fist my hands through my hair. "Again?"

"That's why the incident on the roof happened. I don't remember much of it but I must have somehow taken too much of my pills at once."

"That sounds dangerous."

"I'm more worried about Jasper. He could have hurt himself when he tried to play superhero for me."

I nod. "Jazz is very protective."

"That he is. But that's also why he needs someone to protect him in return."

Jasper returns to us and carefully places three plastic cups on the table. "Are you doing okay?"

Alice smiles. "Your boyfriend and I are already good friends. Aren't we, Edward?"

"Sure."

"That's great." He states, giving my knee a light squeeze under the table. "Would you like to dance, pretty boy?"

"With you?"

"You can dance with me, if you'd prefer that." Alice offers. "But Jasper is really good at it. I've taught him well."

He takes her doll-like hand in his and blows a theatrical kiss over her knuckles. "May, I have this dance, Ma'am."

They stand up but something she sees at the dance floor makes Alice's heart-shaped face turn into a frown.

"Maybe we should wait a bit more with the dancing."

"What's wrong?" Jasper asks, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. God, Vicky really looks like a slut tonight. Why does James like her? She's not even that pretty."

"Christ, you're not still in love with that jerk?"

Jasper's question earns him a punch against his ribs. "I'm not in love with James."

"Yeah, whatever, Brandon, can we dance now? That's what we came here for, isn't it?"

They walk off and I watch for a couple of minutes how my boyfriend swirls Alice all over the dance floor. I only know some basic steps that mom has showed me a few years ago.

As soon as I think of my mother, there is a lump in my throat. I swallow hard but the unpleasant pain doesn't lessen. She's not going to see me in that stupid tuxedo, Dad has bought for me to wear. She won't ever see me in anything. Not in my graduation cape, not in my wedding suit, in nothing. My eyes burn with tears and I barely manage to make it outside before I end up having a crying fit in public.

On the parking lot, I sink to my knees and put my head between them. Mom, I miss you, I think, allowing myself to shed a few silent tears.

When I look up again, I notice the loud music coming from one of the cars a bit further away from me. Wiping away my tears, I walk over to it. The windows are steamed.

Yeah, I better give them some privacy. I'm just about to turn around and head back into the gym building when a loud scream reaches my ear. It's followed by a second one and then the passenger's door of the Mercedes is pulled open.

"You bit me. You stupid slut bit me."

Rosalie drops onto the asphalt like a lifeless doll. She rolls over on her knees and vomits in several heaves. God, this is gross. Is she drunk?

"I hate you, Royce." She sobs. "I hate you. I hate you."

"Hysterical bitch, you like teasing men all the time but then you chicken out, when things finally are getting interesting."

"Piss off, Royce! If you weren't one of Peter's friends, I would press charges against you."

He throws her handbag out of the car and drives off with squeaking tires. Rosalie throws up another time. I manage to hold her hair away from her mouth. She's trembling now. Crap, what has he done to her?

Then she laughs. It's a bitter, hysterical sound that melts into a loud sobbing.

"I'm so f-f-fucking stupid. I r-r-really thought h-h-he likes me."

The left stripe of her dress is ripped. There's a deep red bruise on her shoulder.

"Rose, did he hurt you?"

"No," she cries. "But maybe he would have. God, I'm so stupid, so goddamn stupid."

"Do you want me to get Jasper? He should bring you home."

She sniffs and wipes a bit of smeared black stuff from under her eyes. "Please, don't tell him. It would make him so angry if he knew."

I hand her the handbag and sit patiently next to her while she first cleans her face with a tissue before she pulls out some peppermint drops to get rid of the vomit taste in her mouth.

"He ruined my dress. Crap."

"Wait," I tell her, taking the lily blossom from my jacket. Mom always loved lilies. I hold the ripped stripes of her sleeve together and fix them with the flower. "This should do it."

Rose mumbles a barely audible thank you. "You're not going to tell anyone about this, will you?"

I shake my head. "I won't tell anyone. I promise."

"Good. You're a great guy, Edward. My brother is lucky to have you."

I take one of the peppermint drops she offers me and clear my throat. "He told you that we are together?"

"My room is next to his and the two of you aren't always that quiet."

My face turns crimson. Okay, we're never going to have sex again at Jasper's place. Well, at least not when someone else is home.

"He really likes you." Rose states. "And you're having a good influence on him. No one has managed to bring him to focus on school again."

Jasper is smarter than anyone would have assumed. All the teachers were surprised when he managed to pass every single of our exams. Mr. Aro even made him have two oral exams, just to figure out whether he was cheating. He wasn't. It was like Jasper had just woken up one morning and decided that he would stop giving a crap about his education from now on.

He's still sad about the West Point thing. But the truth is that he only wanted to go there for his Dad. One day, he's hopefully going to find something he really likes.

"Don't hurt him, okay?"

"Why would I hurt him?"

"Because Jasper's really sensitive underneath that hard façade. He's not good with expressing his feelings and always prefers keeping things to himself. When Dad died he didn't even cry once when one of us was around."

She wraps an arm around my shoulder and rests her head against it. "I always wanted to have a sister, but you're okay for a third brother."

A hard punch against my back makes me fall flat on my face. Then I'm grabbed around my collar and pushed up again.

"I'll fucking kill you, Masen." Emmett roars, slamming his fist forward again. He's drunk like fuck and angry. It's not a good combination.

"Calm down, man."

"No one, gets his paws on my girl." He prattles while Rosalie tries without success to pull him away.

"Leave him alone. You're drunk. Please, Emmett."

Emmett's next punch hits me against the left side of my ribs. Shit, that really hurts. I cripple forward and cough.

"What are you doing there? Are you crazy, McCarty?"

My twin wraps his arms around Emmett's middle. "Stop this. Stop it right now."

Anthony isn't a very good fighter. He's better at winning arguments with words instead of using his fists. Finally, like my personal knight in shining armor, Jasper rushes towards us and manages to bring Emmett to his knees by twisting his arm on his back.

"Ouch, damn it." Emmett calls out. "Let me go."

"You're going to calm down first. Why are you trying to beat the twins into a pulp?"

"Only the one who's trying to fuck my girl."

Rosalie snarls. Then she grabs the cropped curls on Emmett's head and pulls hard on it.

"No one's fucking me! Do you hear me? God, you're really stupid like shit."

"Are you mad at me, Babe?"

"Don't. Call. Me. Babe." Rose snaps at him. "God, I'm so fucking done with guys."

With that she rushes off inside the building.

"Maybe you should go after her." I whisper when Jasper loosens his grip around Emmett and kneels down next me. My side is hurting. Is this how it feels like to have your ribs cracked?

"I'm not stupid, Masen." Emmett states spitting on the ground. "You spent so much time at Rosie's house in the last time. And she had your silly flower thingy on her dress tonight."

"He spends time at our place to be with me, you moron." Jasper tells him, placing his hand on my thigh.

"With you? Why would he want to—"

"The two of you are together?" Anthony asks, his voice reaching a too high level. Shit, this is not how I wanted him to find out about us.

"Look, we wanted to tell you." I say.

My brother stands up from the ground. "Yeah, sure you wanted to tell me. It's just fucking great how much you trust me."

"Anthony, please don't be mad now." Jasper says, jumping up.

"Leave me alone, Jazz. You're the shittiest best friend in the world. And you…you are my brother, my twin on top of it."

I get another coughing fit while Anthony disappears inside the gym, slamming the door behind him.

"You are gay?" Emmett asks in a slurry voice. "Oh god, that makes me someone who hits gays. You can't hit gays. That's almost as bad as hitting a girl."

"Keep your stupid mouth shut, McCarty." Jasper commands. "One more word and I'm going to knock you out."

Emmett walks off, leaving me and Jasper alone on the parking lot.

"Crap."

"Are you in pain? Emmett doesn't know how to handle his strength."

I hiss through my teeth when I pull up my shirt and point to my side. Jaspers fingers are pleasantly cold when he touches my skin. "It doesn't look like something's broken."

"It's not broken?"

"Yes, but it's going to bruise, that's why it's hurting. Remember to put some ice on it when you get home."

"Yes."

I shiver a bit when he leans forward and blows some light kisses on my aching side.

"Anthony hates us now."

"He's disappointed." Jasper says. "But he'll come around. We should have told him sooner."

I close my eyes when Jasper lowers his mouth to mine. Yes, this is right. We feel right.

"What if he doesn't forgive us?" I whisper, between kisses. "I can't have him hate me."

"Anthony's going to forgive you." Jasper breathes against my mouth. "That's what brothers do."

xxxx

My twin actually manages not to speak a single word to me for an entire week. Then our stepmother is brought to the hospital because she gets some nasty cramps. She's terribly worried about losing the baby. I'm actually worried about Esme. This is the first time that I realize I care for her. Maybe not as much as I cared for Mom, but I definitely care.

While we wait downstairs in the cafeteria of the hospital, it's Anthony who finally breaks the silence between us. He tells me that he's okay with me and Jasper dating. But he's going to need some time to get used to the thought. I'm fine with that. Time is a good thing.

It's a good thing that there's so much of it. The doctors keep Esme in the hospital overnight before they release her again. No stress. They order and for the next following months we treat her like a row egg. I start doing the entire laundry and the cooking while my brother somehow manages to balance school, Tanya and his job at the hospital with treating Esme like his personal patient.

Every morning before school, he takes her blood pressure and her temperature. Then at night, Dad repeats the same. Only that he measures her swelling midsection in an addition.

The baby, although it isn't even born yet, brings all of us closer together. It's nice. It makes me feel like we're actually a real family now.

"I hate doctors." Esme tells me, one Saturday afternoon that I've volunteered to keep her company while Dad and Anthony are working. Jasper is going to come over and bring his Xbox with him. Esme is the only person who plays good enough to beat the _Major_. It's funny somehow.

"Will you play on the piano for me?" Esme asks, cradling her abdomen. "She really likes to hear you play."

She sits down next to me on the piano bench while I start to play. The melody is simple, kind of a nursery rhyme. One night I just woke up with it humming inside my head. I can't be a professional piano player but maybe I could rather be a composer instead. That would be great, right?

"Ouch!" Esme exclaims. "Stop it, baby. A lady shouldn't be kicking her Mommy like this."

I hesitate before I gently place my hand on her rounded middle. The kick against my palm feels weird. Like a fish through a plastic bag. Like…nothing I have words for.

"Stop kicking so hard or I'll stop playing."

The baby answers my threat with another punch. She's going to be strong. That's good. Girls need to be strong.

"Have you and Dad decided on a name for her yet?"

Esme rolls her eyes. "Your father wants to name the poor child Mildred, after his grandmother."

"And you?"

"I don't like naming kids after dead relatives."

The doorbell starts ringing and I rise from the bench to open the door for Jasper.

"There you are." I whisper, pulling him into a tight embrace. "Are you going to let me win today?"

"Depends on in what you want me to let you win." He teases me, grabbing my backside roughly in his hands.

I whimper when Jasper kisses my mouth, thrusting his tongue between my lips. "I love you."

"You love me?"

"Something wrong with your ears, pretty boy? Yes, I do love you."

Cupping his jaw between my fingers, I gently caress his clean shaven chin. "You never told me that before."

"I'm sorry."

"No need to be." I tell him, planting another kiss on his mouth. He tastes sweet, always so sweet. I love it.

Together we walk back into the living room.

"Hello Mrs. Cullen. How's the little boxer doing?"

"Esme, my name is Esme. I've told you that before, Jasper."

For a while, the three of us play on the Xbox. Then Esme jawns loudly. "Maybe I'm going to have a little nap. Why don't you go upstairs, so that I can get some rest?"

I get her a glass of ice-tea from the kitchen. "You're supposed to drink more."

"Are you my doctor now too? Carlisle and Anthony are bad enough."

"I just care, Mo— Esme."

She smiles and reaches out her hand to squeeze mine. "It's okay, boy. It's okay."

Jasper and I head towards the stairs to my room.

"Isabella."

"What?" I ask, turning around.

"The baby's name. That's what I want to name her."

"It's a pretty name. Isabella sounds nice." I mumble, walking up the stairs with Jasper behind me.

He pushes me on my bed. When I straddle his lap, I can feel his erection pressing against my backside.

"Not today."

"Why?"

"Because we're not alone in the house."

"We can take your car and drive somewhere to get more privacy."

"Good idea." I mumble, weaving my hands through his hair. Then I grab the bottle with lube from my nightstand and stuff it into my backpack.

"I want to top you. Not today, not in the car…but one day, I want to take you."

"You will." I whisper, pressing my lips against his mouth. "I want you to make love to me."

"I always make love to you. Even if we fuck like rabbits in the locker room, like we did it last Monday after practice…it's still making love because we love each other."

His mouth is first hard and then very soft against my lips. This is how I like him, soft and hard. I love his strength. I love his weakness even more.

"We won't be gone for long." I tell Esme when we walk down the stairs. "I have my cell with me when you need anything."

"Christ, I'm just pregnant, not deathly sick."

Jasper chuckles softly. "Bye, Esme. I'll leave the Xbox here for you, in case you get bored again."

"Thanks, sweetie. Have fun, boys!"

Well, who am I to deny a pregnant woman her wish?


End file.
